Saturday, December 5, 2015

Half a Dozen + 2

I'm trilled to say, we are adding one more! 

We will have 1/2 a dozen beautiful children!

"Every good and perfect thing comes from above..."
James 1:17 The Bible

Everyone is excited to welcome OUR baby. 

+ Goran and I, we are a family of 8. 

My heart is so full, I'm afraid it might burst. 

8 is Great

I'm 2 days late. On the day he was born 8 years ago, I was 7 days 'late'. I was grumpy and tired all week long. But that morning, I had renewed energy, I was ok waiting, and looking forward to meeting him when he was ready. 

Little did I know, by 7:45 pm my first son would in my arms. 

He is a boy full of energy, wakes up happy and ready to take on the day. Hes eager to please, sad to see others sad, and he likes to hang out with his dad and his paka. 

He has taught me so much. He has taught me that love has now bounds. He loves with no conditions, and now exceptions. Sure he gets mad, stomps his feet all the way to his room. he shouts "Thats not fair!" and slams the door! But he comes back later tear streaked and sorry, hugs and kind words. He tries to make it better by helping or giving, or sharing. 

I am so thankful for the gift of my son. For his love, lessons, and smile.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Halloween Fun 2015

The excitement began REALLY building already at the beginning of the week. I say 'REALLY' because truth be told, the kids started with questions and costume discussions back in September! So last weekend we did some shopping, and decorating, and planning for pumpkin decorating, and a small festive party. 

I let myself get into a bit. (play!)

I worked out a fun craft,

Angelina made cupcakes late into Friday night for our party on Saturday with cousins and a few friends.

It was rewarding in a peaceful way to watch the children talking and laughing with their cousins/friends during the party. I say that because is wasn't all on me. The bigger kids really took on themselves to workout what they would wear, and how they could help. Angelina made the cupcakes. what a relief not to have to worry about that.

Its been almost a month since I started this post. I think Samuel dragged me away to bed, because he is often ready for bed before me, but wants my warmth, and smell, and luv to snuggle up too. And as I know these days are short, I go. Sometimes grumbling and frustrated, but mostly I go, and as we settle down and I'm often asleep shortly after him.

So I was thinking about blogging this Halloween post today actually, and I was drawing on memory to come up with word to jot down with pictures I took that week.

Mostly I remember feeling how things lined up so well, with cousins visiting the day of Halloween, Ang having a friend over, and the cooperation as every crafted and enjoyed muffins, and talked and laughed at the table.

Goran took the kids trick or treating, in their decided costumes :)

Overall a really fun celebration for us.

Happy 12th Birthday Angelina

We've had a bit of a build up for sweet Angelina's birthday. She had a semi private horse riding lesson with a friend, we had a dinner party on the weekend with grandparents, and Aunt Kristyn and the kids.

She took it all in stride. She enjoyed each celebration, feeling special, and knowing she was luved.

Today she got to sleep in, received a special necklace from Goran and I (which she luved), and the annual Tim Hortons treat with just Dad.

Today my girl turned 12! She's old enough to babysit, matured enough to see the bigger picture in many situations, and she's getting to the point where she needs more. In the last year I've noticed that she longs for outings, and experiences that we can't always provide.

She wants to visit with friends.  I don't mean, play dolls, or imagination, but hang out, talk, ect. Even with this I implement crafts, swimming, ect, so they are busy, interacting and learning. Often the best times I've had with friends is when I was doing something fun!

In the summer Angelina volunteered for VBS and luved it. What a wonderful opportunity for her in a safe environment, to learn, grow and develop a sense of herself. The youth pastor said Angelina did an amazing job transitioning from 'camper' to 'assistant leader'!

She is branching out and developing friendships, really deciding which ones are important and which ones she let go of. She's worked hard on being kind and generous when others are not always kind to her. I know how hard that is, but its such an amazing quality of hers.

My dearest girl, Angelina, 

.....go forth and live your dreams. Life isn’t as cruel as it seems. Yes, sometimes it’ll be tough. It’ll feel as if you’ve had enough. Stride ahead, shun your fears. For you, we’re always here. Happy birthday.

I luv you my Girl! 
Happy 12th Birthday! 

Friday, October 9, 2015

#4 Takes Off

On Thursday while walking to ballet Klara says,

"I can almost ride my bike without the wheels."

"Hu um," I replied pretty unconvinced.

Did she prove me wrong!

When we got home she asked if she could practice.

"Of course Hunny." I replied.

I had just gotten in the house and she at the door yelling at me to came and see.

"I can do it!"

And she can!

Wednesday, October 7, 2015


On Sunday cousins came over for a craft afternoon :)

We've been discussing how to get these 3 girls to get weighs heavy on my mind as I don't want these feels of frustration, sadness and alienation to overshadow the visits that Kristyn and I so very much look forward to and thrive on!

I had a thought that maybe keeping all 3 busy 'together' was one way to do it. We have left crafts out for them, given them instructions, and given them a whole bunch of open ended craft stuff. That doesn't seem to end positively. I continued to think and watch, watch how they mimic everything I do...

It hit me like a bolt of lightening,

They need the example.

The example of working together, talking things out, listening to one another, taking turns, and helping, Kristyn and I do so much of that already, but it doesn't hurt to be more proactive. So we discussed the afternoon, I put together poncho kits for the girls to sew and cut for their Maplelea dolls and Kristyn put together the 'ocean in a bottle' for the boys.

The most part it went well. It was a it crazy at one point when everyone needed something....a needle threaded, next step mom?, I don't know how to do this!...and supper needed cooking, but it was just a better example to them of talking, waiting, listening and following direction.

I know there is lots more of this before the problem is solved. Sharing, helping, example settling, ect, but it felt like such a good step in the right direction, and the girls were so very happy with their final product!

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Just the Two of Us

We went away, Goran and I, just the 2 of us!

Julie, Ron, and Kurtis came to watch and care for my 5. It was so good to go away AND know my family would be so wonderfully cared for.

So we went to a Bed and Breakfast close to the falls. Catland Estate is a beautiful country property. It has a feeling of elegance with deep wall colors and slate tiles. The furniture is modern and new and everything was well organized and planned. The owners are kind, friendly and warm. They have 2 beautiful well mannered dogs that met us upon arriving at the door. It gave the atmosphere and very homey and well loved feel.

So we visited the Butterfly Conservatory . It was really beautiful. The butterflies were very active and we got in just before it closed so we were almost the only ones there. We were able to walk through slowly and marvel at the butterflies feeding and the way they blended in so nicely with the surroundings. It was amazing to take my time, relax, take pictures, sit, wait, and watch.

The next morning after a lovely breakfast we headed to the falls for a sunshiny walk and some selfies!

The Falls are stunning. I told Goran I love it there. Its majestic, and beautiful and terrifying all at the same time. It doesn't matter how often I go, I find it truly amazing.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

New Dolls = Finding Common Ground

My SIL and I have run into '2s a couple, 3s a crowd' with the 3 similar aged girls. It has been difficult and heartbreaking to see the tears and struggles these 3 girls have gone through finding that place or sharing each others attention and love. 

(This seems off topic but will come together in the end!)

5 weeks ago we got our Kids National Geographic Magazine. With it came a Maplelea doll magazine. At first I was a bit annoyed and frustrated....we have SO MUCH STUFF! And it became clear very quick that this was going craze was going to happen. 

Angelina was the 1st, since she had the money saved. 

(Wait for it...) 


But suddenly there was common ground with her cousin. This shifted some attention, and although it was hard for Grace to adjust, she did so with grace (ha!) and joined in! 

Klara was the next one, I found a used one with wacks of clothes and this placed more common ground with her big sister. 

Grace was now saving every penny, wanting to get in on this train! 

Facebook message and texting with the cousin was taking place with all 3 big girls. Much less stress and sadness and more smiles and laughter.

Graces doll came this week. My big girls are hanging out more, talking about their dolls, about clothes for their dolls, writing in journals ect. And they are including Klara. 

A impromptu walk led to these,

We are looking forward to a quick and easy clothing project to keep their dolls warm in the cool fall chill! Keep posted for Sunday :)

Wednesday, September 30, 2015


My thoughts have been here. In this space I created. My space that I'm not sure the direction it should go. I've have sat down to blog, and stared at the screen. I've typed words, joyfully and happy, troubled and worried, feelings jumbled and all mixed up, sat back and hit the delete button....because I don't know where to go here.

I read though a friends blog and she said I quote "the quiet predictability of our days is the very thing we longed for."

How true.

With the predictable routine of driving the bus, school work in between and assorted kids activities in the evening, I have created what I wanted. For the me, for the children, for our family.

Days blend together. We establish routine, and create laughter, joy, hugs, smiles, patience, helping and all the best examples I want for my 5 little people. And when things get though we tolerate the stuff that makes our brains crazy, and breath deep when feelings and thoughts get overwhelming. We move onto the next step of the day and repeat the stuff we know.

"People are more important than things"

"One step at a time"

"They are having a hard time, they are not trying to give me a hard time"

"The days are long but the years are short" a favorite from a friend.


So where does this leave my space going?

I think I continue with a bit of this and a bit of that.

Over the next month I will update with where everyone is at, maybe school projects, some summer pics, and that will lead into the holiday season.

With the beginning of the school year we typically continued with the 3 Rs, and also did a Native American Study.
We made igloos from paper mache, long houses and tepees from cardboard, and had a field trip to a near by reconstructed village of long houses. There was so much to see and touch and learn, and read there. We only went for the afternoon, but we could easily make several more trips there!

Once I make the time I will print off a billion pictures from our trip and I've already bought a photo album to put them in! Along with index cards so the kids can identify whats in the picture and tell a bit about it! 

Another friend said to me..."I inspire I don't require."

That one hit home! And I'm working with that motto as much as I can, So I will inspire the children with my pictures and index card write ups! 

I'm off to tidy a few things, tuck a small boy into bed, and then myself, before the whirl wind of tomorrow begins! 

Saturday, July 25, 2015

July Camping

It was a giant build up getting here. So much anticipation. There was SO MUCH work to do. (As you can imagine!) 

But we did it! The kids worked with me, packing clothes, washing dishes, sitting with sleeping Sam, everyone did their part. 

Driving here tonight with 5 + a friend I said "let's not worry about time, or the clock. Let's just do all the good stuff till we r done." 

So we went for a moonlit swim. It was magical and enchanting. Sam hugging my neck in the water, the girls laughter rippling across the lake, and Bryan eying to catch up. 

And then we were struggling to put our clothes on, the mosquitoes were everywhere, and it stung and hurt and we were slapping and there was crying and I was cursing to myself in my head for such dumb idea...

Fast forward 2 hours, these babies had campfire with s'mores and no mosquitoes and are now quietly breathing sleepiness, goodness and peace. 

I hear the campfires, smell the woodsmoke, and feel peaceful and grateful. 

Monday, July 13, 2015


I've been thinking and reading about play.

I watch the children play, and their energy is constantly renewed. They are always excited to get up and greet the day with open arms.

"What are we doing today?" I get asked 4 (!) times every morning.

Whether we are painting the swing set, or doing groceries, or baking for the neighbors, they are excited and eager. They have questions like "Do we have enough paint brushes?" or "Can I get the ice cream?" and "Can we make banana muffins?" Everything we do, they want to be part of it, and they want to try, and take something away from it.

For a while there everything felt like a chore to me. Dressing, drying my hair, baking, cooking, laundry, gardening, supervising, shuttling kids, nursing the baby, walking the dog, and caring for the house. I was trying to make time for everything. Running threw my day to finish my list of chores. Because this list, my chores, if weren't done, reflected on me, as a mom, and a wife. And I want to be good at my job.

So, I rushed. Threw every moment of the day. To finish my list. I snapped at the wee ones to hurry, so we could rush to classes. I would sit and watch them and nurse the baby and think about the hundred billion things I had to do at home. I would rush them out the door, buckling them up, and hurrying them home to push them to eat so I could clean up......

I don't need to go on. I'm not the 1st mom to rush, and snap, and hurry, and tidy, and worry.

I'm not the 1st mom to get tired, and burnt out, and frustrated, and exhausted because suddenly all the fun is gone.

I had to find a way out. Or a way through this to the good stuff. I can see others having the good stuff. The moments the make life worth living. The moments. The quiet moments alone when everything feels right. When you know you are right where you are suppose to be. The loud and busy moments, when there is laughter and smiles and the luv is so big it can't be wrong. The fluttering eye lids, and gabbed tooth smiles, the 1st swim across the pool alone, the teasing, and the 1st moments at some grown up stuff.

So how was I going to get to that place, where my heart could rest and take it in and live.


"Our society tends to dismiss play for adults. Play is perceived as unproductive, petty or even a guilty pleasure. The notion is that once we reach adulthood, it’s time to get serious. And between personal and professional responsibilities, there’s no time to play."

"Play brings joy. And it’s vital for problem solving, creativity and relationships."

"Play can even facilitate deep connections between strangers and cultivate healing."

The articular goes on to talk about what play is ect.

I started to do things I enjoyed, and it gave me energy. It gave me something to look forward too. And I started to enjoy the other things again. 

Sometimes I just stop. I feel the sun on my cheeks. I watch the children laughing. 

I've stopped writing lists and worrying about if it all gets done. I think about today, what it needs from me, and what I need from it.

Sometime I leave the house for a walk with the kids and growing-old Duke, with dishes in the sink. Because sometimes that's what we need, And when we get home, sometimes we are rejuvenated and happy and ready to do the dishes together, and get the kitchen cleaned up in 10 minutes. Sometime we get home and everyone is still cranky and I just help them to bed, and do dishes quietly on my own. Some times I'm grateful for that time, and some times I'm a bit grumpy that I'm doing it alone.

So we have made plans for fun. The kids and I this summer. We are painting and moving kids around rooms, and freshening up spaces, and having fun. We have camping trips planned, and cottage weekends, and looking forward to the Paris fair,

Some times I want company while I play. A pedicure with a friend or backyard painting with a the wee ones.

Some times I want to be alone with a good book, simply sip tea on the backyard bench and watch the bust birds fluttering around, or pound the pavement.

Its good. This think called play.

I only wish I could tell everyone how important it is :)

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Camping In a Ontario June Hurricane

I learned a few things this weekend. 

Rubber boots are essential for camping in the rain. 

Sometimes when you're are camping you have to go out for supper. 

Bring quiet actives comes in very handy. Plan for more then you think u'll use! 

Putting your tent up on a good foundation is essential to weathering the storms. 

Camping lists are amazing! 

Mostly, if you keep positive, and remember the sunshine is coming, you can get through the storm. 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015


It started strawberry picking with a friend and 7 kids this morning. Continued with a strawberry snack with whipped cream. 

A break in the day. 

The sun is sinking and I return to see the trays of berries on my counter. A flashback of hauling strawberries with my sister and my mom pop into my mind. It makes me smile. 

Samuel is still up. Munching on berries as I haul. He talks with his limited vocabulary  of grunts and gesters. 

The berries turn and roll as they boil. A vision of skimming the foam and eating it on fresh toast that same day with sisters and my mom return to my mind. 

I add cups and cups of sweet sugar and stir and stir. The steam pillows. 

Cool. Stir. Mix. Cool. Stir. Mix. 

Small boy hanging on my legs. 

Scoop, pour, lid. Scoop pour, lid.

10 jars of sweet sticky jam. Come a very cold February morning this will remind  me of this day. It will remind all of us that warm days are coming. 

But, right now I'm waiting for the sound of  popping lids so I know they sealed!