Monday, September 19, 2011

In An Instant

My heart was fluttering so fast in my chest this morning as I lay on the ultra sound tec table. I held my breath and waited. I felt the wand on my tummy and watched the screen. Panic rose inside me trying to claw its way out. My eyes knew in an instant what my heart as known all weekend. There was no heart beat.

I felt my heart breaking.  

There were words passed back and forth between me and technician. He was very kind and confirmed what I already knew. He told me he was very sorry.

I left the building and hurried to the van through the cold wet rain. I turned the key, the engine started and I  let the wipers go swish, swish, over and over.Goran called and we exchanged words of love and support to each other. He was amazing.

Thank you, each and every one of  you, for all you thoughts, and supports and prayers. This hurts, but I am not alone, and that makes all the difference.
 

4 comments:

Jenn said...

I know that heart in your throat feeling, my heart aches for you and for your loss.

Cindy said...

Oh Kathryn, I am so sorry :( May you receive the peace of God in this moment, and the healing of your heart and body in due time. Wish I could do more, but I send hugs and share tears from over here...

Amanda Wilson said...

I have no words other than we are praying for you and your family. I'm so sorry :'(

Anonymous said...

So sorry Kathryn - heartbreaking :( I love reading your blog - thanks for letting us be a part of your life - good times and those not so good...thoughts prayers and hugs to you xoxoxox