Predojevic V: Running Deep

Emotions run deep for me. Always have. When I was a little I remember being told not to be so emotional. I remember my mom talking to be about the crying. "You're a big girl, you don't need to cry all the time." Rightfully so, I cried about everything. But it just goes to show my emotions are deep. I feel deep. When I feel joy/happiness it is immense, and I have to call someone, post or blog those exciting things. When I feel sadness/pain is it overwhelming. The tears are there, ready to overflow. Sometimes a good cry helps, sometimes it take a few days to work through and try to understand.

Through this journey of life, I hold the people in my circle close. I love them, and share with them. I am so honored to go through life with them, sharing in their joy and excitement, pain, and sadness. That's what it is all about, right? Sharing.

My emotions are jumbled and mixed up. I am full of joy, and excitement of all things in my life! But at the same time my heart it is heavy with hurt. People who I have held in my circle, whom I have trust, shared with, rejoiced with, laughed with, cried with, are pulling away from me in huge ways. They are not sharing with me the things in their life, nor are they sharing with me in my life. The exciting and happy things going on, they are not rejoicing with me. I've tried to break threw over and over again. These relationships are important to me, always have been, but it seems so less to the other people.

I know and understand that this means my circle is changing. My circle of people whom I trust and love and share with. This weighs heavy on my heart, as these things have not been my choice, and it hurts to have have people pulling away and I don't know why.

It comes to more thinking in my mind. I believe that we are all here for a reason. I believe God has given us things to do, and when we follow that path, we are content and happy. We are happy for other people in their paths, and can truly share with them. I also believe the opposite. When you fight the path, or you chose a different one, the road is hard, and you become unhappy and not content. You can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and you can not happily share with others because you are not happy.

So for you, I wish to find the path intent for you. I wish you happiness and contentment, and the joy of true friendships in which you can share all things in your life and theirs.

Now after I finish that I realize I have some house keeping. I have not blogged. I have been busy mentally and physically as we had our trip, and are now getting back of the swing of things with homeschooling. We had a great trip although my camera battery died. I didn't bring my charger, so I have 3 pics from the butterfly conservatory and that is all.

OK, wait. That is a lie. We used our crappy cell phone camera's to at least try to capture something! But alas I get home and do not have the cable to download those pics.....As I pointed out to my hubby once we got in the car after the butterfly conservatory, "I will never forget to charge my battery again before we leave for a great trip!" And I'm also going to buy another battery. A back up is a good thing.

So we begin a new school year. Crisp, clean, new pages of the books begging to be learned on. Eager eyes as I open those new books, the 2 girls with tall unused pencils ready to write. The cool September air blows in the window as the pencils go, bringing with it the sound of children calling to each other as they walk towards the school not far from our house. Angelina mentions how glad she is to be home, and Grace giggles about going to school with that teasing twinkle in eye.

luv the light here

happy smiles

luv the outfit, luv the luv of books

she climbs the stool 10xs a day to rummage through the draw and put things on the counter. And sometimes do her hair

I am happy here. I am content on the path I am on. Teaching these ones of mine and watching them grow and flourish in leaps and bounds. Making home cooked food for my family, hanging laundry, and trying to make this garden thing work. I am blessed and fortunate. Not because I am home with them. Not because I have the ones I have. Not because I hang laundry, and cook from scratch. I am blessed, and fortunate, and happy and content, because I am on the path I was meant to be on. Because I have embraced it with every ounce of my being, and when you give you get.