There is never enough time

Here is Angelina with her Chachie.

Here Angelina is painting with a cotton ball.

Here Grace is painting with a cotton ball.

Here is the big girl sitting on the potty!

And here is #3, growing, growing....

There are so many things I'd like to write. But never enough time. I would like to post all the family happenings in here, but there is so much, it feels like sometimes I am just rambling. And I don't want to seem like I favor one child over the other, by writing more about one then the other. They are at very different stages, both growing and changing so much, really with each passing day.

Well I will write a tid bit about one and then the other, and then Baby.

So Angelina. She has been a bit hesitant about the whole 'home birth'. Not sure if she wants to be there, or upstairs, if she wants to watch, and a few times she even suggested I go to the hospital! (Imagine my dismay! Haven't I taught her anything?) But yesterday we were watching A Birth Story on TLC, and the lady and her husband were getting into the car to go to the hospital. It was dark. She mentioned that is wasn't very nice that they had to go in the dark. I agreed. A few moments passed and she says, "Its good we're having the baby at home and you won't have to go anywhere in the dark." Maybe its just some unknown fear of the dark, but my heart filled with pride and I thought, 'I have taught you something.' I thought maybe giving her a job would make her feel more useful, like she is doing something to help. A few weeks ago I hurt my back and Goran was rubbing it alot, trying to get the knot out. Angelina picked up on this and one day got the stool, (while I was doing dishes) got up behind me and started rubbing my back. She said, "Does that feel better, Mommy?" (my heart melts again. I have, somewhere along the line, taught her empathy!) This is where the idea of giving her a job come into mind, so I asked her, "When Mommy is in the pool, in labor would you like to come in and rub my back?" She agreed this was a great idea, and she wants to do that. I really want her to be part of the birth, and witness it. It is our families that we learn the concept of family, and the importance of the bonds that we share. This put my mind at ease, for now.

She is growing leaps and bounds in other ways as well. We are doing crafts almost daily, and she is getting super good at painting, and gluing, and cutting with scissors. She asks daily what friend are coming to play, and voices disapproval, or approval, depending on my answer. She is always disappointed when its the weekend, and no friends are coming, unless we have plans to visit cousins or grandparents. She loves her dad! She luves Sunday mornings, because Daddy is home! Mondays and Thursdays are great evenings as well because I go swimming and she gets special Daddy time when Grace goes to bed. She calls him, Chachie, and gets jealous when Grace is on his lap and there isn't room for her. She shares her bed with Grace now. It usually doesn't work to put them to bed together, but most mornings they come groggy eyed, and messy haired together to me. Most times she luves her little sister. She gritters her teeth together and tells me, "I luv my big sister!" To which I reply, "You luv your little sister. You're the big sister." Then she nods and says "Yep." and off she runs.

And then we have Grace, our soon to be middle child. 19 months is such a time of extreme mental growth for them! I luv to sit and watch her thinking and working things out. She can be very demanding, and stubborn. But I realize that is a developmental phase she is going through too. The last few days she has been following me to the bathroom and wants to sit on the potty with me. So I oblige. Yesterday I suggest she wear big girl undies. She thought that was great. She's been dry since then, (except night time)and she can hold it for hours! Like 2-3 hours at a time. She did have a BM after her nap, which I wasn't too happy about. But her concept of it seems to be there, and I'll just keep rewarding her. She gets quit excited when I tell her, "You go pee pee and Mommy will give you chocolate." "YEAH!" she replies. She still takes her soother to bed, but knows it should stay there. She will often leave it in her bed, or bring it to me in the morning. If she is having a bad time of something during the day, she will go to her bed herself, and suck on her soother for a bit and lay down. She sleeps through most night. If she does wake up, I get up, give her the soother, and she's quiet again. But those nights that she's up 4-5 times, I'm not happy by the 4 time, and I can be pretty crabby. She has a real thing for shoes. She wore the soft soled Robeez for along time, but this summer, she kept swiping Angelina's sandals, so I thought it was time for her own. And since she has started wearing them her feet have grown! Her first pair were a size 3, and now in the last 2 months, she has gone up to a size 5. (I should mention here, Angelina wears a size, 6-7)She brings her shoes/sandals to us many times through the day to go outside. I like to go on my super walks in the evening, but she doesn't like to sit anymore. She wants out, and cries and cries! At 19 and 1/2 months she has loads of words. No thank-you, juice, crackers, more, all done, mommy, daddy, Bobby, Callie, Duke, are a few. We do a circle in the morning, and sing songs. So she is picking up tunes, and words from that, and will often 'sing' away during the day, on the potty, or while they are sitting in the wagon together. We are still nursing on demand. Its been a few days since she last asked. Every time she does this, I wonder, is that it, is she done? And then suddenly she has a 'catch up' day, and she will nurse 10 times to build the supply back up. When she wants to nurse, she climbs up onto my lap and points to a breast(usually the left), and says something that sounds like milk. I say to her, "Show me with you hands." She will then use sign language, and 'show' me what she wants. I never thought I would nurse at all. Before I had Angelina I thought I would bottle feed. But my mom convinced my to try, and it was amazing. Gazing into their little eyes, watching them fall asleep so peacefully... and after doing research, I've learned, this is one of the best things I can do for my children. For their health, and even their emotional well-being. The bonds and security they learn from breastfeeding can not be mimicked by anything else. And it turns out to be very good for myself as well. It cuts my chance of breast cancer way down, and after a birth, it helps your hormones regulate quicker, and your body get back to shape.

Well onto #3. We are 26 weeks now. Baby is 2-3 pounds, and about 15inches long. Movement are becoming more pronounced, and maybe a wee bit uncomfortable. When I'm laying down, I can see Baby kick. My side will pop out, or baby will be sitting a certain way, and we can see a bum sticking out to one side. As far as I can tell, baby is still turning and moving all over the place. My Internet info says many babies begin resuming the head down position already, but as Grace didn't do that until 36 weeks, I'm not to worried, yet. Many of the ladies at my swimming class are quit concerned that I'm showing large, and I'm going to deliver early. I remember with Grace I was HUGE! It looked like a beach ball at the end. But I went 2 days before my due date. So I reassure them telling them, "It gets much bigger." And I know it will. But for the most part, I can't complain about pain, or discomfort. By the end of the day I'm tired, but I'm very busy as well. A few weeks ago, I was feeling really good, not tired at all. I thought to myself, "Why are women in such a hurry to give birth, really, its great!" But I remember now, from the two girls, the tiredness I feel in the evening now starts to catch up with you, and you feel that way all the time. But in the mean time I will enjoy it as much as possible. All to soon its over.

I see Lisa, my 3rd midwife next week and will post after that.

Thank you so much for reading!