I Don't Know How to Download Pics

Ok, a bit stupid I agree, but we have this fancy picture program and I don't know how to download pics. I wanted to download some from our fabulous trip to Great Wolf Lodge, and Angelina's first day of grade 1, of the house we are going to buy, all the renos we are busy with here, and of my once again growing belly:). So at first I was just procrasitnating writing and figuring it all out, but once I became pregnant again, and as the weeks have gone by, and we've told people the exciting news, my fingers are itching to click away on the keyboard and documet my life agian. So I will make Goran show me this weekend, and get documenting again. I will update everyone on the past few months, and write more day to day stuff :).

As we move on with life, it changes, yet daily stays the same. I want to remember this time when my kids are small. It goes by so fast everyone says....

Tomorrow

Tomorrow we will set off on our first vacation as a family. No, not camping. Real beds, and showers, and all you can eat. Water park galore, crafts for the kids and bedtime stories!! Its close to the falls so we can skip out for a bit and educate the children. :)

We've had this planned for over a month. I am excited. The kids are excited, and I even think Goran is a bit...although I had to coerce him in to it!

I've done some shopping. The kids have got new bathing suits, and PJ's and have bought a few new things for myself. Today we are going to bring Duke over to my moms so she can care for him while we are away. We are preparing...its getting close...I can't wait!!

Tomorrow this time I will be a bundle of excited nerves!!!

Pay the Price

Today is the day. As much as I say I'm not connected, or this is not about me, it still involves me. People I care about. They are in my thoughts today. I wonder how they are, and what they are feeling. I wish I could do more.

I think of the person who this all revolves around. He will begin his 'new' life today. I know what awaits him. He heart cringes to think of it. My head swims with dread and disgust. I try with all my might to block it out, but the horrid thoughts and images creep in. But he's made his bed, now he has to lie in it, right?

I have always been so quick to judge others who have been in his situation. "Gets what they deserve!" But somehow, this is different. No not different, just 'connected'. Yes, as much as I and everyone else, hates it, he's done it, and now needs to pay the price.

Grateful

Where do I start?

2 things make me grateful this morning.

1. This is a hard week for family and friends. Those who know the details know why. Those who don't, I'm sorry, but it is something I am embarrassed and ashamed of, and don't want devolve into details. Although is doesn't involve me directly, people have a tendency to judge and draw conclusions. It hurts, and it is raw. For me, yes. It has changed my perception of the world and people. It has changed the way I function, think, who I trust, and how I live. For the people who are directly involved, it has turned their worlds upside down. They have accepted and adapted, and humbly allowed God to hold them through it. Because that is all they can do right now. Hold on. But each day they get up, smile, and do what the day demands of them. They are grateful and thankful for what they have and the good this year has offered them. They are not angry or bitter as I would be. These people are some on the most amazing people I know! I am grateful to have them in my life. They have forced me to question myself, my values, and therefore grow as a person. Sometimes this is hard. It has been for me.
   
2. I stumbled across another blog awhile ago that I read when it's updated. ( http://stay-at-home-mayhem.blogspot.com/)I followed a link to another website today....a family who's small son, 5, is battling a brain tumor. I cried sitting in my chair staring at the screen, reading more and more details, and hurting more and more for this family. The pain they have endured for the last year, the decisions they have had to make, and may yet have to make...and yet this young mom, not to terribly unlike myself, is able to smile and find happiness.

So I am grateful for what I have today.

1. For my family, strong and healthy
2. Family and friends who I can call on
3. For a husband who luvs me
   
4. Children I adore
5. A house that keeps me dry, that we own!
6. The joy of working
7. The freedom to work
8. The option to work or not
9. Parents who raised me strong
10. My sons strong willness
11. My youngest daughters independence
12. My oldest daughters creativity
13. My perdictable routine through out the day
14. The food we eat
15. My body, strong, that can turn that food into fuel and keep me healthy
16. For the little friends that keep my children busy through out the day
17. The ability to cook for my daycare and family
18. For the outdoors that we will go and run and play in and burn off steam
19. For the tears that teach lessons, and make joy sweeter
20. For the wildest times that bring the quietest naps :)
21. For meetings with support to look forward to
22. For the husband that stays home with the wee ones and does the dishes
23. For cool nights that let me cuddle up close to loved ones and sleep with a smile on my face

This is just a small start. I will keep a running list in my head. Because really, I have all things to be grateful for and nothing to complain about.

The 5th

It would appear I have the 5th disease. Yes you read that right. Not my kids. No not one of them. Me. After spending time with my little niece who was unbeknown to us contagious, I somehow picked up this unpleasant virus! Not the little people who played with her, hugged her, held hands ect....but myself, who I think, the only body contact I had with her was a hug bye bye on my way out the door.

So 5th disease is fairly unpleasant. It starts with general unwellnes. Kinda fluish without the puking. Then bright red cheeks. Someone told me I must have had to much sun...my cheeks were really red. I didn't clue in yet. Then bowel upset. This came after a day of more unwellnes, and feeling quit tired. But it hit my by surprise. I had taken the kidlets to the park. Oh great. Here I sit at the park and I have to go NOW! Thank goodness for those gross little porta potties....which followed with questions like "But Mommy, you told us never to go it there. Why are you going in there?" Which followed by giggles and laughing because mommy went in the yucky gross porta potty. They learn well:) But this part of the illness lasted all evening and well into the next day.

Well the week continued in general unwellnes, extrema tiredness which I could not figure out. (No I am not pregnant!) Headaches and low grade fevers. Tylenol worked for those things.

Funny, I noticed a strange lacy like rash on Thursday, which got worse on Friday, and by Saturday was everywhere. I went to bed and slept for 3 hours in the afternoon. More low grade fever and tiredness. Only when I woke up my joins were hurting. Fingers, ankles, and knees. Odd. Water retention?? I guessed...and drank more water. Didn't seem to help much.

Saturday turned into Sunday. Rash was disappearing, but the joints were hurting more. Hummm, couldn't figure this out. Oh well, groceries had to be got, and kidlets needed lunch. The day went on. More Tylenol did the trick. But not for more upset bowels. Thank goodness this time I was home. But again, this lasted well into the evening.

Then Sunday night I saw a post on facebook that my niece had 5th...'sorry if anyone else gets it'....hummm suddenly this started making sense. The lacy rash, and the red cheeks, low grade fever...it all made sense. Research on the Internet even said the joint pain was normal in adults. Phew...so glad I know what I've got.

And it kinda made sense. I kept thinking to myself that it must be some virus, and a voice in my head kept reminding me of when my girls had 5th disease...

The joint pain was uncomfortable on Monday. I figured I'd call Telehealth for advice on what I can do about it.

MISTAKE MISTAKE MISTAKE!!!

The 'trained nurse' freaked out about the joint pain and slight swelling in my fingers.

"You need to go to emerg. now and have blood work done, and see a doctor! Do you have someone who can watch the children? You need to go now!" She was yelling at me.

Oh my goodness! What does she think I have? This must be serious! She's freaking my out! I must be really sick! She's yelling at me. I told her I can't just leave. ( I don't even have a working car at home right now!) She's telling me 'now!'

I finally hung up. Arguing with this women would get me no where. Put kids to bed, call husband, take a deep breath, and call daycare moms and dads.

Long and short of it, 2 hours after waiting in the walk in clinic, doctor concludes I have 5th disease. Not after looking at me like I'm a silly little girl for coming in. "But the nurse yelled at me on the phone and told me to get blood work..."

So yes, I have 5th disease. Sounds more dangerous and scary to say "I have the 5th" to people, but really its a nuisance, and unpleasant. But it should pass in the next 1-2 weeks and then I will be super duper, and I will be that much stronger. Until then, I will continue to feel yucky, and my joints achy. Hopefully, each day gets better and better :)

And hopefully its gone for our vacation to the Great Wolf Lodge next week.

Sigh.

The Nudist

My son. Yes, my very small 19 month old son has figured out how take all his clothes off. First it was just this potty thing. When he was sitting on the potty he wanted is undies and bottoms completely off. OK. Then he had to have his socks off and his shoes if he happened to have them on. While he was sitting there one day he figured out how to take his shirt off.

Now, at any given time of the day, he will decide his clothes are to much a bother, and take them off. Then he proceeds to run around naked and laughing. I humored him last night. He ran around the house for an hour. Nude. Not a care in the world. He didn't seem to notice he was naked, and it didn't seem to bother him at all. He played. He sang songs in babyish jitter, and coincidentally used the potty on his own free will a few times.

So it would appear, that for now, my son is a nudist. The cutest nudist I've ever seen :)

Bye Bye SueSues!

I have been trying to get rid of those gross things for awhile. We had talked about going to "Build a Bear" and putting the suesues inside the bear...but she didn't pick up on that idea. About 2 weeks ago a friend came to visit and we got talking about it. She said she had discussed it with her kids ( a set of twins) first, and then made them look very unappealing. Pointing out that babies had them, and they were smelly, and they made their teeth funny. She said finally they picked a date, circled it on the calender and counted down the days. When the day came she said she ended up getting called into work, and wasn't actually there that evening.....but they stuck to the plan and chucked them anyways. What good kids.

So with all this is my head I sat down to talk to Grace. I told her what a big girl she was and that suesues were for babies. She was nodding and cuddling shyly into my side. A subject she really doesn't like talking about....and she knew where this was headed....I asked her if she would rather put her suesues into a "Build a Bear" or give them to Baby Zachary or put them in the garbage. She quickly answered in a shy quiet voice "Give them to Baby Zachary."

I explained that Baby Zachary was coming next week and this would be a good time to give them to him since he was a baby and suesues are for babies. She was hesitant to agree with me. I talked to her about how I understood this was really hard because she has had her suesues for so long and they helped her go to sleep, and comforted her when she was sad.

She was nodding and looking at me with these very vulnerable eyes.

"But you can do this!" I urged her. "And mommy will be here to help you, and daddy too. Instead of suesues and can think of happy things in bed, or mommy and daddy can lay down with you for a bit to help you settle down. You can do this!" I told her again. (This became a repeated phase over and over again.)

Finally she nodded in agreement. "OK Mama," she half whispered.

So we marked 'Special' days on the calender. One for the day we give the suesues to Baby Zachary, and another one 2 nights later, when we would go to "Build a Bear". She liked the idea of building a bear.

A friend had lent us a book, "Bye Bye Pacifier". We read this over and over. She enjoyed sitting against me and turning the pages. Taking it all in.

We started with no suesues at nap time. The first day she didn't nap. She was on her bed quiet, and then started screamed for the last 20 minutes of nap time. I was having doubts. The second day I reminded her how to fall asleep. Thinking about happy things and maybe singing songs. I insisted she keep her head on the pillow. Lo and behold, she feel asleep!

"Grace? Grace, wake up Hunny...Look, you did it!! Gracie you did it!"

One day turned into two...and the day to give them away grew closer. We counted the days on the calender. As the day grew closer Grace became more and more reluctant to talk about it.

The night before, I reminded her that this was her last night. Yes, she nodded that she understood. I tucked her in one last time with her suesues.

The next day dawned and she passed her suesues over to me before breakfast. I reminded her what would be happening later, when it was time for Baby Zachary to go home.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said.

"I need to know you understand Grace. Tell mommy you understand," I urged her.

"I understand Mama," she mumbled looking down at the table.

My heart was sad. Was she ready for this?

"And what happens in 2 more sleeps Grace?" I asked her

Her face turned to me, glowing, with the biggest grin ever. "We go to 'Build a Bear'."

She was ready.

After nap time we were all sitting around, everyone was waking up and rubbing eyes. I reminded Grace what would happening it a little while when it was time for Baby Zachary to go home. She was leaning against me. She looked up into my eyes and said "I want to do it now."

I just about fell off the chair.

"Are you sure?" I asked, very gently.

She nodded. I looked questioningly at Kristyn. She nodded and shrugged at the same time. I thought for a minute. I tried to put myself in her place. No one was really paying attention, so she could do it quietly and discreetly, and maybe she just wanted to get it over with.

She sucked on each one for a moment and put them all in a baggy. When she was done she went and gave them to Kristyn for Baby Zachary.

And that's been it.

Its been a few days since I started this post. She is doing really well. She has a harder time falling asleep then before, and sometimes I go in and talk to her about things she can think about or songs she can sing. But she isn't sitting on her bed screaming her head off, and she isn't exhausted from it all. And she is falling asleep, and sleeping all night long!

We have gone to 'Build a Bear'! She picked a calico kitty, and luvs it! She carries it around with her, takes the clothes off and then puts them back on, and even lets Angelina play with it a bit.

So I am very happy to say, we are a suesue free house!!