Grief is hard, and sad, and its about moving through it, not 'getting over it'. Life will never be the same without Evelyn, but moving through routines, traditions, we find a new normal. And that's what we are doing. Even though there are moments that grief is overwhelming and tears flow, I think its accepting those moments that allow us to continue moving.
We went cottaging with Kristyn and cousins this summer. We had planned it already last summer, so it was just a matter of finding something that would work for all of us.
We had a few special days out that we enjoyed, but when talking with the kids, big and littles, they like the time just being. Time to sit still, breath deep, play in the hot tub, swim at the beach, and watching TV.
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| we had an 'unbirthday party' we discussed a yearly group trip instead of individual gifts through the year. Everyone agreed to try it. Ariana's vote was out bu she luved the balloons! |
Beaching
When did these little girls become teens in bikinis?
We asked the kids what they liked most.
Sams favorite part where the chips.
Bryan and Zach was the hot tub.
Angs favorite part was just being there, relaxing.
Grace and Abby luved Niagara on the Lake.
Klara like riding her bike, doing crafts, and hot tubbing.
Caleb and Jayden enjoyed paw patrol, play dough, and slime.
Ariana luved the balloons.
For me, it was watching. Watching the kids play at the beach digging a giant hole. Watching the big girls try gelato, pushing the double stroller with Jayden and Ariana while running with Kristyn in the morning, and watching the big boys stretch their wingS with extra freedom. Biking around the neighborhood, and hanging out at the 'big house' on their own. I was proud to see how well the 2 big boys worked together. Those boys brought everything in the house, everything out of the house, and did any job or task that was asked without complaining (starting the camp fire, making fire sticks, washing dishes). I bough travel journals that the big girls really enjoyed staying up late and working on, writing down memories of the trip.
I was in awe watching Kristyn. She so gently mothered her and my own children alike. Always showing kindness, but being firm (with Caleb!!) at the same time. She was intentional, and we worked as team on laundry, packing lunches, tidying, parenting, and letting the other catch extra sleep when needed. It was such a lovely trip, and it was so good to just do 'us'.
The old rickety swing set in the backyard had this teeter totter swing that Sam could really get going...so high he was level with the cross beam that ran down the middle! He would swing and laugh and laugh and laugh.
The time flew by to fast. But, by the last day we were all talking about next year :)
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