Happy 4th Birthday Grace

We luv you so much Grace!!

4 years ago, I did it! I had my coveted home birth. I battled childbirth, 100% naturally, just like I had so badly wanted, and I won! I cried out in pain, when the contractions became to much, and breathed deep to catch myself in between. I remember the support and encouragement from my birth team. I remember Goran wanting so badly to go out for a smoke and begging him not to. ( He didn't! He stayed!)

I remember the first glimpse of her face! I remember what it felt like when I pushed her from my body. The first feeble cries, and Goran cutting the cord. I remember them tucking her in beside me, telling me she needed "Mommy" and feeling so proud to here those words.

Here we are 4 years later. Now we celebrate this sweet girls birthday. Sometimes I think she is a 4 year old monkey! She is rumbustious, and clever. She likes to playfully repeat..."Daddy said______". Sometimes she comes up with her own dialog, using this time to use forbidden words....LOL....yes that is my 2nd child:) She can be the sweetest and most caring child, sharing new toys, and be the first to give a hug to someone who's hurt. She seems to so really understand feelings! Even when someone is just feeling 'blue' she wants fix it. Or if someone is really happy, she wants to join it the fun, and giggle and shout with glee. She is tender and sweet with babies, and really luvs them. She holds them gently, and will sing and rock them for hours on end - real or just dolls! She like to help out. Doing some dusting, folding face cloths, or feeding small ones that need a hand.

She is our Grace. Silly and funny, sweet and lovable and irreplaceable!

Happy Birthday big girl! I hope you have a fantastic day, love your new PJ's, and have enjoyed spending the day in them!!

This is what I mean. 'Gracie, smile!"

Gracie

Gracie gave her sues sues to Baby Zachary this year!

Gracie and her cousin Abby!

Baby # 4

Goran pointed out the other day that I will have to change the title of my blog :) Yes, the rumors are true, baby # 4! I am about 19 weeks, and a bit in disbelieve!! I have wanted a big family for along time, and its just happened....and so hard to believe that is about 5 months, 5 will become 6!!!

This wasn't a surprize or a ops. None of our children have been a surprize. We have been blessed, and smiled upon from up above. It seems every time we talk about 'another one' we are pregnant shortly. We've had our hurts, as we have lost a few early on in the game. Its painful, and disappointing, and I am angry at my body for failing me. But life does go on, and there has always been a health pregnancy shorty after.

It doesn't matter how many pregnancy's I have, the whole thing seem so miraculous to me. I read weekly how my baby is growing and developing, how my body is changing to make room and nourish the new life I'm carrying. My body is even preparing to care for my baby once its born! I understand that at this point the baby can hear, and is becoming more aware of the noises out here! (I just asked Kristyn yesterday if baby could hear) I can feel baby moving more and more. She/he is a busy little one. Last night as Goran and I were laying in bed I felt baby moving, and felt a fairly strong kick (remember baby is only 7 ounces). I quickly put
Goran's hand on my tummy. "Wow!" he said. Its always so special to me when he feels our baby moving for the first time. With Bryan I was 24 weeks before he felt anything, so this seems so early.

Me and the little ones went to see my midwife today. I have a new midwife as Sylvia is out of country. So we have Sarah, and she is great! I have been discussing with Goran having an unassisted birth and he is not totally comfortable with it, but he would do it if I really wanted. The reasons I want to go unassisted are just preference, and wanting to be able to feel uninhibited. Don't get me wrong, my birth with Bryan was great, but I remember feeling annoyed by things. Strangers in the room (my back up ended up being someone I had never met) whispering, and those annoying rubber gloves. I mean, I know if I had said something those things would have stopped, but that is really the last thing on a laboring mothers mind. Its just there, bugging you....Anyways we discussed my preference of having midwives in the house but not necessarily in the room. We discussed the monitoring that they have to do by standard, which seems reasonable, but in the most part, she is willing to work with me, so that I am happy in the end. I'm happy about this. Its good to know that if I need them, for hemorrhaging, or baby resuscitating they are there, but otherwise they will let me be.

So here are some pics Angelina took during the apt today.

1. My blood pressure

2. Talking with Sarah

3. Listening to baby #4

4. Bryan listening and resting on my belly(seems to be a fetish of his...lol)

Enjoyable

I have forgotten how enjoyable life with just 3 children can be! Its busy, but not a busy as 7. And these are all mine! I have the week off from work. We have no real agenda, and nothing that can't wait until 'tomorrow'. We stay in our PJ's to long, and leave the breakfast dishes until 1/2 hour before hubby gets home :) Its fantastic! I wonder how long it would be before I go board. I think I would. I would miss my crew coming in the door. The cries of "Hi Kathryn!" and hugs. The stories throughout the day, and watching them all play with my own.

But in the mean time I am enjoying the week. I like having the time to watch my youngest one get off his chair at the table and go get a Kleenex, because he knows his nose is yuck. Or sit and craft with my girls. Really watch their creations come to life. I like laying in bed waiting to feel the newest member of the family kick and squirm, saying a little hello. I have energy at the end of the day to make a real supper and set the dining room table! (Hubby was ecstatic last night!) I have the patience to have the children help set the table to 'teach' them. Yes I am enjoying my week.

For now I am off to Kristyn's. We will enjoy good company, and eat to much, and the children will be happy to have some other children to play with.

Oh the lucky life of the 'Stay at Home Mom!'

Some Pics

Its been to long, but I have my own computer and I easily now how to down load pics now!!

A few family Christmas photos

Almsot 2 Months!!

Wow, that weekend went by so fast....and I still don't know how to do the picture thing without my camera program. O h well, posting anyways.

Merry belated Christmas! Or I guess happy boxing day! Its been a great season. It has been fun to watch the kids anticipation grow with each day that gets closer to Christmas. Ofcourse I have been trying to hard to teach them the reason for Christmas. The birth of 'Baby Jesus'. I have read books with them, and asked questions. They answer eagerly, wanting to know more. Sometimes they ask questions and I answer them gratefully that they are curious and want to know more. We went a saw Christmas lights all done up at a near by park Christmas Eve. There was a lovely display of Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus in the stable, surrounded by shepherds. It was nice for them to see, make it more real for them.

Christmas morning Angelina was up at 4:00am. I told her to go back to bed:) Again at 7:00am. Ok, we could deal with that. The energy in the room was contagouse! The joy, the fun, the laughter. After all was said and done I sat down beside by hubby and kissed him, thanking him for being with me and making this beautiful family. This is Christmas. Spending the time together and being together.

More later, I am battling a terrible cold.

I Don't Know How to Download Pics

Ok, a bit stupid I agree, but we have this fancy picture program and I don't know how to download pics. I wanted to download some from our fabulous trip to Great Wolf Lodge, and Angelina's first day of grade 1, of the house we are going to buy, all the renos we are busy with here, and of my once again growing belly:). So at first I was just procrasitnating writing and figuring it all out, but once I became pregnant again, and as the weeks have gone by, and we've told people the exciting news, my fingers are itching to click away on the keyboard and documet my life agian. So I will make Goran show me this weekend, and get documenting again. I will update everyone on the past few months, and write more day to day stuff :).

As we move on with life, it changes, yet daily stays the same. I want to remember this time when my kids are small. It goes by so fast everyone says....

Tomorrow

Tomorrow we will set off on our first vacation as a family. No, not camping. Real beds, and showers, and all you can eat. Water park galore, crafts for the kids and bedtime stories!! Its close to the falls so we can skip out for a bit and educate the children. :)

We've had this planned for over a month. I am excited. The kids are excited, and I even think Goran is a bit...although I had to coerce him in to it!

I've done some shopping. The kids have got new bathing suits, and PJ's and have bought a few new things for myself. Today we are going to bring Duke over to my moms so she can care for him while we are away. We are preparing...its getting close...I can't wait!!

Tomorrow this time I will be a bundle of excited nerves!!!