Bryan - 6!

This one hit me hard. I don't know why. 6 seems so monumental. I was picking up candles for him, and I had the package in my hand and I realized I would use all the candles in the package. I took a deep ragged breath and wiped the tears from my eyes.

My boy was turning 6!

Bryan, you are growing and maturing! You are testing boundaries, (and testing patience at times!) and discovering cause and effect on a constant basis. You have also decided that reading sounds fun, and since then are well on your way! You know most of the alphabet by site, and are starting to copy words and asking me how to spell things. (like HO HO HO!)

For your birthday you got lots of lego you were able to put together all yourself and you luv. You picked a playmobil boat with fish and a man with a fishing rod (just like Daddy!) that you have spend hours playing will. You got a new spiffy outfit, that you fold carefully, and pick for special occasions.

Bryan, I luv you. My heart soars to see the boy you are, and the boy that continues to emerge. Your heart is good, and kind.

The other day you were on the counter and accidentally broke a new creamer I had just received. I was disappointed and upset, and I was trying to explain to you how I felt and your face crumbled and you started crying. *sigh* I was a bit annoyed now.

"Why are you crying!"

"Because I'm imagining how sad you are that your thing is broken," you replied threw tears. 

My heart melted to see the goodness in you, I scooped you up, and hugged you.

Of all the boys in the world, I'm so glad you are my 6 year old son.

Luv
Mom

Happy Birthday Angelina

Dear Angelina,

You're 10! Its hard to write in this quick letter all the things you've done, and how you've grown. So instead, I'll talk about how u make my feel, and what you are doing and luving right now.
I am so proud of the young girl you are. You are verging into the 'tween' years, with Mandie books, and nail polish. You are building strong friendships with cousins, and getting to know other children your age (boys?! They're OK too!). Your kindness is showing through, when you give you're last candy to someone else, pick up Samuel when he is sad, and play lovingly with Grace, Bryan and Klara. Your talents are blooming as you play Christmas songs for hours on the piano, and you carefully explore baking and making in the kitchen. The artist in you shows through after a fall of art journalist club. You're luv for animals is clearly natural and instinctual. Oliver luves you like no one else!
You are questioning things, big things, moral kinda things, and we, you and I, spend time talking and sharing idea. You draw conclusions, think about it and sometimes change your mind. This is all a process of figuring out what you think and believe. I am so glad you feel safe talking to me, sharing with me, and to give you the freedom to think and decide for yourself.

Right now you are luving horses, and the idea of horse back riding. You are reading books, and learning as much as you can. We are trying to get some horse back riding lessons for the spring.

As it is almost Christmas, you are are busy making and wrapping gifts. It is sweet and kind to watch the light in your eye as you think, decide, make and wrap gifts for anyone and everyone you know and care about.

Angelina, every day I am so thankful that you are part of our family. I am honored to be you mom, to raise you, and watch you grow, and see who you are becoming. Keep moving forward my girl, follow your heart, and you will never regret the choices you make.

Luv
Mom

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

 

 

  Inspired by SouleMama. 

Broccoli Grows On

Only broccoli remains. I luv the clean neat rows of fresh earth, ready for winter.

garlic has been put to bed over in the far left corner...

I know I might not get much, but it feels like such a shame to ripe it up, when its not done giving to us.

So Ive decided to let it grow, as long as it wants.

And take what I can :)

{this moment} (late)

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

  Inspired by SouleMama. 

Blessings - Challenges of Today

This life I live, is the life I have been waiting for forever. Since I was a little girl, carrying the dolls, dressing up the cat, and pushing around a stroller. Babies babies babies. Kissing hubby goodbye in the morning, and raising the babies.

I didn't know then how amazing it would be! I thought it would be fun, but no idea it would be this fun! The laughter, the joy, the smiles, the feeling of accomplishment, the intensity of luv for all the people in my village of this life. This is amazing.

I didn't know then how hard this would be.

This post isn't about how terrible life is. It isn't. But sometimes it can be hard. I have tonnes and tonnes of post about the joys and smiles, but few about the though stuff. So here we go, digging deep, and in the end the constant reminder of the good.

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed. Sometimes, the dishes, laundry, and toys are piling up, and I can't seem to find a sane thought in my head. The kids fight with each other, with me, and seem to just plain stop listening. And those days are always topped off with a good row with hubby. Leaving me exhausted, discouraged, confused, hurt, and doubt filled.

Doubt filled. Not doubtful. I am filled to the top with doubt. That's when the thoughts like "What am I doing?" start to churn in my head. "I can't mother 5 kids, look at them fighting." "What am I teaching them?" "Where did they learn that from?" "I'm clearly the worlds worse wife ever!"

Fear. That I'm doing it all wrong, and making monsters instead of good happy people....

*Breath deep*

Those are the challenges of my life. The doubts that fill my head when we are having a tough day. Because everyone had tough days, right? Everyone has moments of doubt in those days, right?

I can almost see some of you nodding your heads.

This is life, right?

Yep. (More nodding?)

But these are my challenges.

There are always the moments of pure abundant blessings that spill over and make life the dream I've dreamed since childhood.

The blessings are simple.

Breakfast with my wee ones.

Raking leaves with my wee ones.

Samuel, content again, in a new Boba.

Good morning kiss, goodbye from hubby.

And with all the blessing, the doubts that filled my head are washed away, I throw up my arms thinking 'I must be doing something right!' and join them in the leaves. 

Wrapping in a Rainbow

The 1st day I got it! It was ruff, and tough, and a little like burlap. A lot like burlap. But I've been  tough on it. Washed, dried, hung....

more dirty, and more washing. Ive pulled in through my steel stair railings countless times,

and wrapped and wrapped....

and wrapped.
 

It feels more soft and fluffy then ever. It's a beautiful rainbow, and it suits us and our story....but I don't luv wrapping.

*gasp*

I said it. I find it hard, and with a cranky baby who just wants a ride, its takes me way to long to get my boy all wrapped.

And he pulls on my neck hairs...ouch...

So all that work, tying, washing, and softening.

Now what? You might ask.

I plan on having it converted!! Stay tuned!!