Friday, December 3, 2010

Happy 3rd Bithday BRYAN!!



Happy Birthday To my Son

Who couldn't be loved more.

You are loved for:


The little boy you are,

...The man you will grow to be,

And the precious son you will always are.


I luv you Bryan. You are part of me. You always will be :) Hope you have the best day of all!


Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Birthday Angelina




Dearest Angelina

Happy Birthday my sweet girl! 7! Today you are 7 years old! I am so so proud of the 7 you are! You are sweet and kind. Thinking of others before yourself, and being so quick to help. Whether it is to share a toy, help mama with the baby, help Grace with her school work or help Bryan brush his teeth, you a an amazing helper!!
We started a new journey this school year. We began homeschooling. As much as there is for you to learn, there is as much for me to learn. As we figure out the balance of book learning, to social learning, to self taught, to mama lead, I see you are learning! We are doing it, you and I! You can do things you couldn't back in September. You can add with a remainder, and your spelling is coming quicker the I can believe! It seems every time I turn around you are spelling a new word, or asking questions I don't know the answers too!
I also see a sensitive young girl emerging. You listen quietly to what is being said around you, and are quick to pick up on someone's sadness. Giving a hug, or offering an encouraging smile. You also quick to pick up on a light hearten mood, saying silly things to make others laugh, and giggling a long. You also seem to pick up a air of secret, and whenever you do, that sly smile slides over your face....and I reminded that you are a very smart little girl.

Some exciting things happened this year. You became a big sister again! And you show mommy all over again what a big girl you are. From Klara's first day you have wanted to help. Sing to Klara, rock Klara, and bounce her around. She looks up to you and trusts you so much :)
We also moved. You were nervous and a bit uneasy about moving away from our street. You talked to me about your fears and your desire to visit your friends. We went back for Halloween and you trick or treated up and down the familiar street and saw your friends.
In the new house you and Grace share a room 'downstairs'. You have been a big girl, enjoying the space and helping Grace adjust to being a bit further away from mommy and daddy. I see more and more what good friends you and Grace are becoming. I see the 2 of you are building a friendship that I hope lasts for your whole lives. Please remember Angelina, friends will come and go, but Grace will always be your sister, and she will always love you.

So on your birthday, we visit Boca for lunch and celebrate, and after wards your cousin Abby and friend Isley come for supper. We will sing for you, and hug you and kiss you extra. You will get a special 'birthday' gift, and brownie cake for dessert. We will celebrate you!! Rachel is coming on Saturday, and we will celebrate again with cupcakes, and the Santa Clause parade!

It is to celebrate you, my sweet sweet girl! All the wonderful you are and the joy give to us, just by being you. We celebrate the last 7 years we have had you, and for the years to come.

Happy Birthday Angelina.

I love you.

Love Mommy

Monday, November 22, 2010

Inspired

I was in inspired to write something. Just to let the blogging world know I'm alive and well. Well for anyone who reads it. The family grows, we have moved, and prepare for a 1st Christmas with our baby girl, and in a new house.

I will get to it.

Tomorrow.

Turns into today.

And still no time.

Life goes on. Rushing past. Children sitting, talking, spelling, writing, adding, growing.

Mom and Dad struggle with life's questions. Bad choices people make effecting us all to such huge extremes. Trying to figure out what is right for us, were we stand, how to make everyone happy, and still do what is right for us.

Some way we find away, smile and kiss, and the children run around happy. A happy home is all they need.

Replace an old floor, fix a leaky roof, gain a room, plans for painting...some day soon :) But later, because time is short and they are growing fast....


I am blessed!!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

17 Days Ago....

17 days ago I woke up as my husband dressed for work, and I told him,

"I will not call you from work today. I will be pregnant forever." All week I had told him, maybe today, maybe today....and every day had gone by. We both laughed, knowing how silly that was.

16 days ago I woke early in the morning, knowing it was the day!

3 hours later, I held this beautiful baby in my arms!



Today, today I hold this beautiful baby in my arms. Time rushes past, and I can't believe it was already 16 days ago! Where has the last 16 days gone?


I love you Klara May.
Don't grow up to fast, okay sweet girl?
Mommy needs to hang on to every minute!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Pics - Klara's Birth


Laboring....Goran, my constant support!

My midwives, Sarah and Karen. See Angelina in the back, fingers in her ears?

Angelina 'plugging' her ears, because I was making to much noise...LOL


Karen 'checking' Klara over....trying to get her to cry


Bryan showing up in the mist of it all


Talking with her....they encouraged me to try to get her to cry...she never did




Daddy with his newest little girl


All 4 of my kids!!!


Angelina with her new sister


Grace with her new sister


Bryan with his new sister


First Nursing


Nursing, skin to skin

Grace laying out Klara's 1st outfit(I bought it the night before at the mall)


Getting her dressed


2 Grandmas with the new baby

Grace, having a turn

Abby, having a turn


Sarah and I chatting after she had gone home and gotten some sleep, then came back to check us over.


Baby Klara with her 'Paka'

Monday, May 31, 2010

Klara May - Born May 23, 2010

Little Klara is 8 days old already. Wow!! Where has the time gone? Here is the story of her birth.

Friday morning I woke up got up and did my things. Getting breakfast and getting Angelina off to school. As the morning wore on I realized I was a bit uncomfortable. Hummm, crampy, but nothing yet to be alarmed about. I called mom, to find out what her day looked like, and I was feeling anxious for Goran to come home. I walked to get Angelina from school. Things picked up, and I had to do some breathing. But once I got home, had a bit of a nap, it all slowed down again.

I was happy when Goran came home. "Ah, anytime now," I thought to myself. Then he told me he had to work tomorrow. I was disappointed. I had hoped he would be home and in my head I could relax. Yes, he would have stayed home had I gone into labor, but in my head HE HAD TO WORK.

Saturday morning started the same. Crampy, and anxious for Goran to come home. Kristyn came with the kids to spend the day. I had a feeling she wouldn't be going home that night. I lost my mucus plug through out the day. Goran was home by lunch time. Yeah!! I felt myself relaxing. Kristyn and I went to the mall. Moving around and walking picked things up a bit. We came home and prepared supper together, and then Goran and I went for a walk to see what would happen. More discomfort, cramping, but nothing I could really time. We had some supper and I had a bath to relax. We went for another walk. This one was more uncomfortable, and I could time contractions now. (It was during this last walk, less then 12 hours before she was born that we decided on her name.) I was getting excited, thinking soon I could be holding my baby!! Goran was excited. The air in the house was full of excitement. The kids were feeding off it, but didn't really understand what was happening.

I told the kids as we put them to bed I thought soon we would have a baby. Maybe by morning, or sometime the next day. Angelina was excited. As she was going to bed Goran pulled out her first tooth. She was so so excited!! Us grown-ups settled down to watch a movie. I was uncomfortable, and contractions were coming and going, but nothing I had to get up for. 1/2 way through the movie we decided to go to bed as I thought, 'It might be a long night.'

I posted on facebook before going to bed that I was tired, and was 'hoping' for some sleep.

I wrapped my arms around my pillow, and settled down on my side, 'allowing' my muscles to relax so baby could move around. I thought the baby might be sitting just a bit funny and once she settled right, things would pick up. As a drifted between contractions I prayed. I prayed for enough sleep to deal with labor, but to have a baby by 'daylight' for the kids.

I got up 2x's for Bryan. I don't remember what the 1st time was about. The second time was just before 3:00am. He was crying. I struggled to get up in that big awkward pregnant way, and stumbled to his room. He was crying because he had lost his sock. I found it in the blankets, put it back on, kiss and hug and went back to bed. As I was settling down, a contraction came fast. I had to breath. In - out, in -out. It slowly ended. Was this is? I wondered. 5 minutes later another one came. Breathing, in and out....slowly it ended. I decided to wait for one more and see what would happen. 2 minutes later another one grabbed me. Eek! I jumped out of bed. I knew the time had come to get down to business.

I walked out to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I went to the washroom, and checked my facebook. Another contraction, breathing, rocking...this was it!! I posted on my facebook: here we go, no more sleeping. Another contraction came. I went down the hall and stood in the doorway.

"Goran? Goran! Its time. Now." I told him.

"Now?" he said in a very sleepy confused voice.

I raised my voice up an notch, "Now Goran!"

"Okay!" he said and at the same time the blankets were thrown back and he was up.

I ambled to the kitchen, calling everyone on my list in turn. I called Sarah, and apologized for waking her. She had just gotten in, she explained...home from another birth. She asked me if I was sure, I said "Yes, I have the shakes, I must be in transition."

"Okay, I'm on my way, Karen will be coming as the backup," she said.

I called my mom, my friend Catherine, and my friend Cheryl. They all answered on the 1st or 2nd ring, and were on their way.

I went downstairs between contractions, calling Kristyn as I reached the bottom, telling her it was time. She got up so fast, I thought she had been awake waiting. (Later I asked, and she had been fast asleep)

I sat on my exercise ball and had a few contractions. Each one was a bit more intense then the last one. Goran came down and started filling up the pool. Kristyn and I chatted a bit between contractions. Cheryl arrived 1st. I think then Sarah, Karen, Catherine, and my Mom. Every time someone came in I could here, "Am I too late?"

I was busy, working through each contraction. Sarah checked me when she arrived, and I was 7cm, YEAH!! 3 to go, and then a baby!! Once Goran got the pool filled, (I was still on the ball) I was asking for a shower with him. I just wanted some privacy with him. Sometime to connect. We waited for the hot water tank to fill up. Everyone was there, chatting, and laughing. Excited that soon my baby would be here!! I told Goran in the shower it would hurt, and I would cry, but gravity would be doing a better job if I was standing up, and I'd get through it faster. So we hopped in the shower for a bit. Goran rubbed my back and encouraged me constantly. He reminded me soon the baby would be here. He told me I was doing a great job. It felt good to have him close to me and telling me all those things I needed to here. For some reason it ment more coming from him then anyone else. Contractions were strong, but it just didn't feel like it was doing the job. We got out and I sat on the ball some more. I groaned and cried out, and rocked, and bounced. I was watching the clock and the windows. I had to have this baby before daylight!!

I had some sterile water injections in my back....ouch!!! It was helpful, as it took the back labor away, but it hurt!

I had been laboring for what seemed like forever. I was getting tired, and cranky. Sarah suggested I try the pool for some pain relief. I finally slid in, the warm water rising over me. Awe, that was nice! It was must easier to totally relax between contractions. I tried sitting, and squatting, and hands and knees. Goran was there holding my hand or pouring water on my back. He was still my constant reminder that I could do this! I was trying to get that baby down, but it didn't seem to want to come. I was getting frustrated. I remember feeling very frustrating. I had the urge to push, but it didn't feel quit right when I tried it. l kept glancing at the clock. 6:00am was approaching and I needed a baby to show the kids when they got up!!

Suddenly Angelina was there. She had her hands over her ears, and was looking a bit distressed. Someone was talking to her and explaining that I was in labor, and soon the baby would come. Once the contraction ended I made eye contract with her and smiled.

"Angelina, its time for the baby to come! You can stay if you like, but Mommy is going to be a bit loud and noisy because it hurts and that's normal. But soon your new brother or sister will be here." She was looking at me with big round eyes. I nodded and smiled at her. She agreed to stay.

It was somewhere around here I decided it was time. Whether I had been fighting the urge to push, or not listening to my body, or suddenly just realized that's what I felt, I'm not sure. But, it was like something clicked in my head, or maybe I noticed the light starting to show through the windows, I wanted this baby out! With the next contraction I bared down hard. I felt the baby's head sliding downward. I was feeling encouraged. I pulled my knees up and pushed again. I felt the skin burning as she was coming down. Suddenly I could hear excited voices.

"Wow! Look, there's a head!" "It's coming Honey, you can do it!" "Its almost here!" "You're almost done Kathryn!"

It hurt! The burning! I could feel the baby's head pushing through.

"Ahhhh!! Pull her out, please, pull her out!" I screamed.

Sarah knelt down beside the pool. She was reaching for the baby to help me.

"Slow, Kathryn, pant, breath, slow it down."

I tried that, and thought, 'forget it!'. One more big push, and felt I the baby slide out, and was reaching down for her, pulling her up to my chest. It was incredible to feel her against me. Soft and warm, and she hardly cried.

The room erupted in shouts and cries of joy and happiness. "Woohoo, a baby!" "Yeah!"

I smiled around at everyone, making eye contact with Goran. We shared a smile. Sarah was busy rubbing and cleaning the baby off. Suddenly Bryan was there as well. Cheryl had heard him, going up to get him, and missing the actual birth.

"What do we have? A boy or girl?" I heard her ask.

I was so convinced it was a girl, referring to her so often as that, it had not even crossed my mind to check. I looked at Goran,

"I'll show you, and you call it out, ok?" He nodded his agreement, saying okay.

I showed him, "A girl, its a girl,"he said.

I asked for someone to get Grace, and someone did. Bringing her down, and introducing her to the baby.

The midwives had some concern over her, and tried to get her to cry, but she never really did. She pinked up, and her breathing was great. She was just content not to cry. Everyone took turns holding her, while I got cleaned up. There was some discussion over the placenta, as I had really wanted to do the 3rd stage myself, but I was worried about cramping, and it all seemed to be taking along time, time I wanted with my 'new' family and baby. So in the end I took the injection and it was over within a few minutes.

It was a nice calm day. Everyone helping out with clean up, breakfast, the children taking turns holding Klara May, and playing in between. My mom went and got Goran's mom after she made a delicious breakfast of pancakes. I nursed, and napped, and cuddled little Klara, and ate lots of food. Goran and I were able to spend lots of time together. We had a nap in the morning together with the baby, and again after lunch. Kristyn and Catherine stayed to 'care' for us, and help with the kids. My mom left for a bit, but came back for supper with my dad.

As I finish this post, it is now almost 2 weeks after she was born! She is a happy baby, crying only when she's hungry or very wet. She tolerates her sisters and brother holding her, very well. She loves to be snuggled against me in the sling, and to go for walks. We've got the nursing figured out, and I again cherish these moments, as too soon they are all but a fleeting memory.

I will post tonight with pictures. Its to hard now to try to slip them into the feed.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

2 Days to Go - Will I Make It?

I have been passing my plug most of the day, and contractions are coming and going. My tummy is quit tight, and through some contractions I have had to stop and breath, or rock back and forth on my feet a bit. Kristyn is here for the day, and we went out to the mall, where I was feel uncomfortable and cramping on and off but no real pattern. We are home now and I have thrown some supper in/on the stove and Kristyn is cutting veggies for supper as well. Planning to go for a walk, and supper, maybe a shower to see if things pick up or slow down.

Hoping fingers crossed, this keeps coming and I have a baby soon. It would be so nice to sit and watch Lost tomorrow with a baby in my arms :-)

The kids are excited, and although they don't understand fully, they can feel the excitement in the air, and can hear our excited voices talking and laughing. I explained to Angelina that my tummy is hurting and this is either going to get stronger to 'help' mommy push the baby out, or stop and go away, and then it will be in tomorrow or the next day. A big grin spread across her face. I took a few minutes to tidy the basement and put the pool out. Showed Goran my 'set up'.

"What to you think?" I asked

He gave me hug. "I'm excited," he said smiling. "If not today, very soon."

Just this morning I was thinking I would be pregnant forever....LOL!!