Thougths and Feelings

The deeper posts are when you put your thoughts and feelings down. Its a bit scary. But feels good sometime to let it go. For people, to know and to understand, where you are today,

Where I am today:

Praying - with my wee ones for my dad (aka Paka to them) who's had some gallbladder problems is and now in the hospital, waiting for antibiotics to work or for surgery. Praying for a speedy and complete recovery. Waiting is hard.

Rejoicing - with a friend who's dreams of owning a home and all the things that will follow for her there, are finally falling into place. Owning a home is so exciting. A bit apprehensive of all the things that are to follow, but luving and supporting her, and praying that her family will be whole and healthy as they move forward.

Settling - into the season. Feeling a sense of peace as Christmas sweeps onto us, and the children dream and plan, and we settle into indoor playtime and routines. 

Settling - into my home. Yes, I've said that many times. As new things are done, and old things are fixed and this becomes more and more the home I dreamed it would be the 1st time I saw it, I feel more and more like this it a home I can raise my family in (and then I look at country homes on Realtor.ca...).

Luving - our new wood stove that has suddenly become the center of  our home. A room where we gather day and night, play on the floor, eat at the table and hang out together.

Living - with exciting anticipation of the babe that grows and grows inside of me. I luv all of this! Sharing with the children how the baby changes week by week, and letting the family place hands on tummy and feel this baby kicking and turning. I luv how my body is growing and changing to make room for him/her, and also preparing for when this one is earth side so I can provide soley all s/he needs. I'm so very excited planning and preparing for the birth of this baby as well. As we come up to 31 weeks, it not long before I will begin gathering supplies and tucking them away. Baby's drawers are full of neutral colored clothes, and the diapers just need a spin in the wash, and they are ready :)

Preparing - for a quick family room wall removal and master bedroom painting! 2 plans finally on the horizon after long awaited 2 years.


Its all a balance, preparing and waiting, resting and working, and sometime watching and trusting. We are in a good place now. Working together, once step at a time. The family is growing and maturing.

In all of that there is this sense of waiting. Waiting for babe and the new family it will bring. We all know it, from the biggest to the smallest. So as much as I luv where we are, and I cherish this time of growth and change, I so look forward to cold snowy days of February snuggled with babe on the couch as children play before the fire, settled. Settled in the family, and content, and peaceful

Thought and feelings. Life is good.

Blessings.

Bryan's Five!

5 years ago I help my 1st boy in my arms. My 3rd child had entered the world, peacefully in our home, and was resting in my arms, likely by this time nursing beside his sister :) Brings a smile to my face to remember that night.

In honor of Bryan his sister and I have each made a poem about him.

B - boy, my first boy! Finally a son for Momma
R - rambunctious. One word in a nutshell.
Y - yes! Bryan is quick to say yes when I need his help stacking wood, getting garbage cans, or shoveling      snow.
A - awesome. Because he just is!!
N -noisy. Honestly he makes as much noise as all 3 of my girls!

By Momma

B - boy, he's a boy
R - run, he likes to run
Y - yellow, he likes to wear yellow shirts
A - angels,  when I look at him it makes me think of angels
N - nice, he's nice.

By Grace

B - Name is Bryan
R - likes to wear Red
Y - like to eat Yellow Honey
A - awesome
N - noisy

By Angleina

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Bryan!!

A Birthday Wish - Angelina

On your birthday

Stretch for a sunbeam...

Reach for a star...

Go for a beautiful dream...

Pick out some wishes,

no matter how far,

or how hard to reach

they may seem...

Cherish hopes dear to your heart...

And as a new year comes in view,

I will add my wishes to yours

that this year they will come true. 

Remembering

Remembering.

We've talked all week with the kids. Explained, read stories, and talked some more.

Today we followed the crowds to this place. 

We watched and listened.

We made a big deal about getting poppies and wearing them. Angelina donated her dollar so we could all have one.

As they get older, and bigger, it seems so important that they know. That they understand what it was like. All of it. What people did to each other, the feelings of fear, and how it all ended.

Goran sat down with the children and showed them pictures of his grandfathers, explaining how they went to war, one came back, and another didn't. He showed them a medal his grandfather got for bravery.
Afterward we talked about his experience as a child. Things that happened, and how it felt. He spoke most about the tension of the adults. The rest of it seemed to be 'normal' for him, as he didn't know any different.

I pray that my children would never know war. That we are teaching the next generation better.

As we were getting ready for bed, Grace came and stood beside me.

"So we learned about Remembrance Day this week, and we went to that place today. And thats about remembering the solders that fought and died so we could be free, right?"

I couldn't have said it any better.

Tiny Trouble

Its been a busy week full of fun around here. Tears, anxiety, and honestly, I glad its over. Its one of those things you never stop to think about.....

Tuesday was shaping up to be a busy day. Gymnastics, and midwife, and home for a nap....it will all work out well.

We were rushing around, grabbing hats, zipping zippers, oh Duke needs out! Out he goes, quick to the van, buckle up.....barking dog....that's not right???

I ran to the back door,

"Come here Duke!"

"Woof Woof!"

"Grrrrr! Hisssss! Grrrrr!"

"Woof woof woof!"

Hummmmm, somethings not right here.....

I went up the steps in a hurry. Didn't that dog understand I was late?!

AHHHHHH!! A raccoon!

Yelling for Duke to to get away and in the house and a bit of advancing did the job as Duke went running in.

I told that raccoon to go home!!

I let the wee ones have a peek from behind the fence, and then off we went. It was a funny story I shared throughout the day.....

Wednesday was  shaping up to be another busy day. I got up and dressed to work out. Duke was begging to go out and I opened the back door. As I turned around to go in the playroom I heard familiar barking and hissing and growling. 


Investigating lead me to believe the sweet creature thinks under my trailer is a good place to live :( I didn't feel the same way.


I spent the morning trying to call places that were closed. We rushed off to CHIRO and ballet, only to come home and find the raccoon frolicking in my backyard. I was frustrated beyond believe. I live in the city! I shouldn't have wild animal trouble! Oh goodness!! I watched and couldn't believe how at home this fellow seemed. He hissed at me, but otherwise I didn't seem to bother him at all.I noticed his eyes seemed a bit mucousy and behavior weird for sure.


While finally on the phone with SPCA, she was addressing my concerns, discussing weird behavior, when I noticed bleeding on his backside.

My heart sank a bit. That was odd. That is not a good sign.

She promised to sent someone over shortly. 


Tears and tears for Angelina as she so badly wanted this to be our new pet. I tried to explain that I was quiet certian he was sick and needed help we couldn't give him. She cried only that much harder.

An officer did indeed showed up shortly and after a quick check determined the poor little fellow was quit sick, and agree it wasn't worth the risk of having anyone (watching from the window) bitten. 


Then there was concern for the dog, and making such vaccines where up to date. Since Oliver was going in the next day, the agreed to squeeze Duke in too.


So a long trip to the vet with 2 pets, 4 kids, and a tired momma. It was thankfully a clean bill of healthy for both pets and the vet had no concerns about the sick raccoon passing on his illness.


A sigh of relief.



Thankfully its Saturday, everyone is well, and the days been good to us.

Successful Saturday

Its been a successful day! (and its only 3:30!)

I have supper simmering and baking for my family,

cookies baking for the freezer for the whole week,

and wee ones are playing in the quiet of the quiet of the day, enjoying the afternoon lul.

Hubby got new tires on the van today. I clean out closets, and made sure everyone has winter wear. 

I can say, its been a successful day! And its only 3:30!!

Its amazing, how definitions change with age.

Happy Saturday!!

Long Awatied

When we buy a house we talk about all the things we can do to make it our home. Our space. Paint, take down walls, new carpet, build a room, change the kitchen.....this house is slowly becoming ours. It slow, but not really when I think its only been 2 years and we have worked hard.

Recently I had this flurry of  "We have to move!" We went house hunting. Country house hunting. Oh the houses. The beautiful old century homes that needed TONES and TONES of work. I did fall in love with one. It still sitting on the market. A big beautiful house with 3/4 of and acer to raise chickens, and a few goats....but suddenly as the weather shifts, with my sense of balance, the flurry, that urgency is gone. I suppose if we had found the right house back in September at the right price it would have worked. We could have packed and been moved before Christmas, and had just enough time to settle before welcoming Baby Luv into our home. But it didn't happen that way, and I find myself settling in to routine, feeling nesty, and cozying up here at home. Preparing for a quiet winter of school work, Christmas, and adding to our family.

I can hope that the big beautiful house in the country is still sitting there come February...right?

But in the mean time we did something. Something we've talked about likely since we moved in. The back yard was shaded. Nicely shaded when its 35 degrees C outside. But we quickly realized that our garden didn't like all that shade, and the pool didn't warm up well.

So.....Goran got busy a few Sundays ago.

Slowly this house becomes ours. We make small changes, or big changes, and it feel more and more like a place I can stay and raise our family.

It was a mess for a few days, but Goran made quick work of packing it into the trailer and hauling it away. The bigger logs we have left in hopes of putting a wood burning insert in, just in time for sweet babes birth!

The space and air in the backyard!!!  We can see the sky!!!

And we left the biggest tree, as it is off to the side, providing enough shade, but not to much!!

Next is painting the master bedroom!!