Where Is My Baby?

It is early but I could see the morning light through my eyelids. It's quiet, not a sound through the house. I lay quiet, my eyes still closed. I can feel my husband behind me. His body is stretched against mine. I reach in front of me for the baby. Nothing. Uh? Suddenly my mind starts to scramble. My eyes fly open, and I push the big beige flower comforter away. I feel for him in the blankets. Not there! Ahhh! My mind is in full panic mood now. Where is he? I flip over and look beside my husband. I am searching with my eyes, and feeling with my hands at the same time. A leg, an arm, anything. I reach down and am feeling below the knees.....wait.....did he come in last night? My fumbling in the blankets stop and I freeze as I am, trying to remember. I don't remember him coming in last night. He usually stands by the bed and cries till I pick him up. That didn't happen last night. I sit up and then fall back on the pillow. He slept through the night. I smile. He slept through the night. The smile slides off my face. Is he OK? Maybe....my mind is wondering to undesirable things. No, I tell myself, he just slept through the night. No big deal, they all do that eventually.

I check the time. 5:45am. I can sleep some more. I close my eyes, ready to sleep. My mind instantly wonders if the little one really is OK. I lay there for a few minutes, wondering, worrying... FORGET IT! I'm checking.

There he is, horizontal in his double bed. Belly down, face turned to one side. Completely uncovered. I lean over him and place my hand on his back. I feel his back move up and down, up and down, as he breaths. He's OK. I cover him up.

Now, I can go back to sleep :)