Traditions

I started this Thursday night after we went strawberrry picking. I wanted to write about traditions, and how every year they get older, we build these yearly traditions. Traditions that they talk about all year long. Whether its birthday party favorites, Christmas cookies with daddy, or strawberry picking at Farmer Toms, the traditions hold strong cord for them.

I here them reminicing, "Do you remember when we made cookies with Daddy?" or "Do you remember Baka slept over Christmas Eve?" and this week, "Do you remember strawberry picking when Klara was a baby? And Farmer Tom?" 


Yes, we are building memories and traditions. Things we all look forward to. Things we enjoy as a family. And things they will talk about their whole lives. Now they talk to each, and Nana, and Pake, and cousins, and friends. In time they will roll their eyes and laugh when they tell their teenage friends they have to make go to the pumpkin patch on Mom's birthday. And one day, when they are grown and have wee ones of their own they will say,


"When I was little...." and hopefully these memories are great memories for them and they can bring some of them into their own families.


Its been a week of traditions. Strawberry picking (o yes). summer traditions with cousins, and the evening of dollies outside. 

o these ceder trees. how they luv them, spending hours playing in them!

We've also begun some new traditions.

A piano recital for my girls. As with the ballet recital, my heart was in my throat. Their dedication, and concentration, and sheer beauty of the people my 2 big girls are becoming, filled me with so much emotion I had a hard time keeping myself in check.


They seemed to small at that grand piano in the big hall.

Shyly they each took their turn, fingers finding the right keys, and their hard work all winter long showing through.

They made their momma, and Nana so proud.


A new tradition we began just today.


A Fathers Day Special, not for my dad today, but for the father of my wee ones. A man I treasure, and value. A man who luves to fish in a boat. We counted life jackets, buckled up kids, and set off in the boat.

O yes, yes I did. (I have even had fun - but don't tell him that!)

Seeing him there, in his element, was moving for me. I found it hard not to stare at him, studying him, trying to imprint it all in my memory. I don't ever want to forget. For all the differences we have, all the times we might shout a bit to much, he is an amazing man. He was gentle with the children, letting them try to steer the boat, and explaining to them how it worked. He let them look at the lures, and explained different things to them.We drove fast and the wind blew hats and hair, and everyone laughed. We cruised slow and we watched birds dive for fish, and herons fly and settle in the shallow water.

This day filled my heart with goodness and luv. Memories, and a new tradition, we are all looking forward to next year.


And for tomorrow, I am looking forward to an old tradition of a good long visit at my mom and dads, celebrating my dad on Fathers Day!


Stay tuned!!

Just Have Faith

"So how do I know if it's ok?" I text a friend today.

"You don't." She replied. "You have faith, and enjoy each moment."

Life has its ups and downs.

Sometimes you wonder if its all going to be ok.

Just have faith.

Even in the bad have faith that the good it coming.

Flurry of phone calls and discussions lead to a  flurry of towels and bathing suits flown on in a hurry as we packed sandwiches, canteens, and cameras for the beach.

This renews my faith.

Strength in numbers.

Helping.

Just watching them play.

Making friends,

whether big or small.

Its these things, these simple things that renew my faith.

These 4 little people are the reason I renew my faith. They keep my moving, through their luv, their innocence, and their faith in me.

Just have faith.

 

Hows that? Right before I hit post, Angelina yells, "A rainbow!!!" A sign, right outside my window!! 

In Their Honor

We gathered. Ballet mom's and dad's. Some grandma's and grandpa's and neighbors and friends. We brought plastic covered treats and tupperware containers of  more treats. We talked nervously as they practiced one last time.

We filed in and found seats. The room hushed.

I sat in silence at magic unfolded before my eyes.

My camera lay forgotten in lap for a bit as watched in aw.

The concentration.

The dedication.

The beauty.

I finally remembered my camera in my lap, and picked it up, snapping what I could between the tears that kept slipping out of the corners of  my eyes and sliding silently down my cheeks.

The opportunity to raise them, luv them, watch them, and be part of their lives.

Oh what a blessing

Happy 2nd Birthday Klara

Dearest Klara

Oh where do I start? I don't know. At the beginning, holding and shaking and watching that line turn pink. Knowing, already knowing, before it turned pink that you were there. Growing, and changing me, and becoming the person you were meant to be. I relished my pregnancy. The morning sickness was bad, but I found great comfort in knowing it meant you were growing well. I spent hours laying on the couch feeling wiggles and jiggles, that turned into kicks and rolls. I would lay Daddy's hand on my growing belly so he could feel you moving. Your sisters and brother would put their hands on me and feel you move and wonder if you were a brother or a sister. We laughed at the funny names Angelina and Grace and Bryan came up for you. When my belly was very round, and you were very big, I took turns resting on the couch reading stories, and walking along the streets to the parks with the big kids.

And then the day came. You were working my body hard to tell me to get ready. Telling me it was time for you to come. I went to bed for one last night, being a pregnant Momma.

By 6:30am I was the momma of a band new baby girl. I pulled your slipper self onto my chest, and I drank you in. I kissed you, and held you, and treasured that moment. You are a girl, as I thought all along.

You made us a family of 6. You were an amazing baby. You nursed, slept, played, nursed and slept. I could bring you anywhere, and never worry.

This past year you have learned many new things.

You walked. December 4th, you decided that was the day to walk, and you started going back and forth between Daddy and I  in the kitchen. Yeah!! You were doing it!! (Finally)

You are beginning to pick up words, and telling us things, and making a perfect place for yourself in our family.

You luved to swim last year, and upon putting up the pool this year, you still luv it! In you go, walking and splashing and laughing!! Up the ladder, down the ladder, back and forth across you go.

In September I lost a baby. I was so so thankful for you. For the bond we had, the way you would come to me and nurse, and snuggle in and rest with me. You gave me peace, and helped to heal my soul.

We had a party to celebrate you. people came and we sang, and the children swam, and you laughed and were happy and trilled, and glowing. Almost like you knew it was your day!!

Happy Birthday my sweet girl. Thank you for coming home to us 2 years ago, for making us your family, and blessing us so abundantly!

These Days - Blessings

Oh, they are days filled with blessings. Reconnecting as a family after too many weekends apart.

Beach days,

backyard BBQs,

and a stroll to the park.

It has been good!!

These days feel like summer. With sand castles,

and picnic with friends.

The warm warm weather has all the windows open,

cats sitting in open windows, catching the breeze and watching the birds.

and fans going around and around. The swimming pool is up, and the kids are in and out of it all day long!

The routine is falling into place, and the family, young and old are settling into the comfort that brings. All of us crave the routine, the simplicity of sitting down for a meal together, the chore list, and everyone pitching in to help. Finding the right time in the day to sit together, and knowing when is a good time to work hard and get 'things done'.

My heart is feeling peaceful, and settled.

Too Big

Sometimes the things of the heart are just too big. Too big to describe, to put into words, to explain to someone else so they can feel all the things another feels.

Its been one of those days. I'm feeling overwhelmed, and tired, and was just looking forward to tucking into bed with my 2 weest ones. Cuddling them close and feeling the peace of their sleep wash over me. I had tucked them in, and went to kiss my big girls one last time and tuck covers under their little chins. As I climbed up the stairs, I could here Raffi playing and was a bit confused. I found my 2 weest ones had deserted me for their own beds and some music.

Even this does not go my way. I want to clench my fists and thrash in my bed and beat the pillows. I just do. Its not fair. I want to cry about it and let it all out.

But I turn here to my little space instead. I turn my thoughts to things I'm so thankful for my heart swells.

Mothers.

My mom 1st. For the person she is, and raising me to be the mom I am today. For luving my babies and  teaching and guiding them to be great people too some day!

My mother in law. She raised my husband. He is passionate and strong. He is hard working and dedicated. She had a hand in all of that.

My very best friend. We rejoiced together when our babies entered the world and made us momma's.We've wept together when the problems of life just seem to big to bear. We support, encourage, guide, and listen. I don't know where I'd be without her.

A momma friend who inspires me. Inspires me to to learn more, do more, and be more. She is calm and easy going, and at the same time pushes me just a bit out of my comfort zone to help me grow.

The list continues. Never ends. But that is my list today.

Mothers Day

The luv I felt in the room as 3 shy faces found me, and brought me treasures so luvingly picked.

Bryan actually re-gifted the perfume. it was already mine, but he gave it to me - again.

My heart swelled and swelled, the tears pooled in my eyes, and my voice choked. I couldn't even get out a thank you. Little things that cost only pennies, but they know me, what I like and what puts a smile on my face. I thank God every day for this. This luv in my heart, and in my home. For these amazing little people whom I luv unconditionally. No matter what, for always.

Mothers day ended with a campfire. Little ones sitting on Nana and Paka's knee, eating smores, and begging for more. It is a treasured memory I slipped in the space in my heart. On of those times I will never forget!