Waiting - New Camera

I am always trying to be happy in my blog. I go back and read through it, and I see that. Even when times have been really tough, I wait till a happy time to blog, or write in code so only people who know me would know what the heck I'm talking about. And even when I write a blog that is questionable, I try to end it on a happy note.

Today I'm waiting. I hate waiting. It drives me crazy. I'm anxious, eat to much, pace, snap, and am generally moody. I've put a great deal of money into someone else's hands, told them what I want, asked them to do the research, and let it go. Well, not really let it go. As the day has gone on, not knowing whats going on, is driving me crazy!!

I'm not feeling 100% either. Baby is sick, and been up during the night the past 2 nights. My sinuses have started to bug me. I tried napping and it's not helping. 3 years ago I was really sick with a sinus infection for months. My family doctor didn't know what to do. I worry that I'm headed down the same path as yuck.

I'm trying to paint the playroom. But with the sinus infection looming, feeling congested, the energy dwindles. I don't do much and I'm exhausted. Keeping up with 4 kids, laundry, meals, school work, and a 3 year old boys activity level seems endless. Everyday I do a little bit. Move the furniture, tape the room off, take off blinds and outlet covers...it all seems endless!! Each day I do a bit more....

Well here I go, ending in a happy note. As I type the phone ding dongs, indicating a message. It all came through. I've bought a 'new' to me camera! Canon Rebel, XS 10 megapixel. Today is Friday and I hope to pic it up on Sunday. So so excited!! So in posts to follow, watch the quality of pics improve!!

The overwhelmed feeling has dissolved. Its the waiting. I hate waiting and what it does to me. But it paid off. Usually does. *Happy Note*

Spring Is In The Air

I can feel it. Temperatures rising, sun shining, rainy days, clouds days, and snow hills decreasing. Rubber boots, light jackets, puddle jumping, bikes, and strollers. Its getting easier!!


I don't have to tell them to go outside. They are begging me. "PPPPPPLease Mom?" "Hurry Mom!" "Lets go!"


Hats are shed, and mittens discarded.

I am love'n it!!

Natural light after supper makes a family walk a perfect way to end the day.

Spring is in the air!!

It Never Gets Boring

Enjoying the simple things is what makes life worth living. Whether you're a stay at home mom, a teacher, a saw sharpener, a business person, or the owner of a major corporation, we all have to stop sometimes. Feel the sun on our face, watch the dog make room for the cat at the water dish, listen to the children sharing, sit at the stop light and watch as a passerby helps an elderly lady to the curb and just live in that moment and feel. Feel the emotion that takes over.

So, as the week goes on, I'm going to do just that. Take it as it comes, and feel. Enjoy the simple stuff.

One of my favorites is waking up beside my sweet baby. I feel her first, stretching, and then I hear her grunt. First I dread the whimper, wait, hear it and roll over to her. She roots, finds and latches on. Never opening an eye. She guzzles, gulping, and sighing all the same time. A few minutes of that, and her gulping slows down. Soothed back to slumber. Its then that I unlatch her, and shift over just a bit. She can still feel me, but I can move a bit and pull my legs up so my back isn't shifted at an odd angle and hurting. Then I gaze at her. It never gets boring. She's amazing. Beautiful. Perfect. Her dark lashes resting against her cheeks. Her round full cheeks resting against the flannel sheets. Her hands reaching, touching my skin. Her tiny lips still in a pucker. Her downy, sandy baby hair laying fat against her forehead. Sometimes her lips move up and down like she is still nursing. So sweet. This is my daughter. I was blessed to grow and carry her inside me. Birth her when the time was right, and nurture her now. The emotion, the raw love I feel, overwhelms me. Right then in that moment, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

She's my 4th, and each of them has done that to me over and over again. It never gets boring.

Puddle Jumping

Bryan was rangy. It had rained all day, and besides a trip to the library, he had no where to vent that energy. It was still raining at 5:00pm, but I was desperate. He got his splash pants on, and rubber boots, and yellow rain coat, and mitts and hat. I bundled up the baby, slipped her in the sling, tethered the dog and out we went. Me in my red rubber boots.....

"Come on Mommy, lets find a deep one," he said in his 'I'm trying to be a man' voice.

"OK," I agreed skeptically.

Slosh slosh slosh, went the water around our boots.

"Oh Mommy, thats really deep, isn't it?" he asked. Again in that voice. He turned his face up to me, smiling.

A smile crept over my face.

"Yes, " I agreed.

"Lets find another one!" he exclaimed, running ahead.

I ran to catch up. He stopped half way through.

"Jump!" I called to him, showing how. He laughed and jumped. He stopped.

"Oooh, my feet..."he sounded a bit annoyed. His boots were short, I could see where this was going.

"Your feet wet, Buddy?" I asked, dreading the "Lets go home," I expected to follow.

Instead he just nodded, thinking.

"You're OK, right Buddy? We can get new socks when we get home," I offered, in as cheerful voice as I could.

He nodded. "Yeah, its OK," he agreed, and suddenly remembered the fun, running ahead for the next one.

It was a fun walk. Splashing in puddles with my boy, laughing, and running to the next one. Every now and then he stopped to say, "Ah, my feet are stinky," and then continued on. We stopped at a drive way with a car running I explained about running cars, and stopping to wait for mommy. He said things like "Yeah, OK, Uh uh," as I explained to him. He reached for my hand and held it while we crossed the street, "Because of the cars." He laughed and played the whole way. He was happy.

It was good. To just be with him. Laugh with him. Watch him. Reconnect with him. I needed it. He needed it.

Thank you Bryan, for an awesome walk!

My Real Issue - My Weight

So I love food. Really love food. Overweight love food. 2 years ago I joined weight watchers, and got down to 156lb. Then Klara came along and I put it all back on. All of it. Every single pound I had lost. AND 25lb baby weight.

So I joined again. I know its hard. 1lb a week does not seem like much. But it adds up. I know it does. I did it. I can do it again.

I'd like to loose 15lb by Klara's birthday.

But the reason I got this way to begin with is still there. Food. I'm so good some days. I count the points and eat well. I eat healthy and feel good. And then its one cookie. The next day 3 cookies. Then my weights not dropping and I start to get discouraged. Then it doesn't seem worth it. I made a great supper, and want 2nds and 3rds, and dessert. Cookies, chocolate, pie....and then the scale is up, and I'm disappointed in myself. So I pick myself, and start again. Its a cycle. Going round and round. But through it all I do loose. I just wish I could break it, and just stay steady and loose a lit bit every week, and get there in the end. But the emotions are all tied in there.

But I start fresh after a gain, and loose again. That is were I was on Wednesday. I had gained and was upset. Got into these chocolate things Goran brought home. They were yummy, but I know didn't help. He took them out of the house this morning when he went to work. Thank you Hunny :)


This morning I went through all my 'skinny' summer clothes. I thought about 2 summers ago when I wore them, and felt great!! I bought 2 nice skirts the other day. Both a bit 'small'. With the idea I can wear them with ease by Klara's birthday, and through the summer.

Below are the 2 skirts and a shirt I wore 2 summers ago. I'm posting there here, and when Klara's birthday comes, will have my picture taken in them and post the pics.



And to get there, the point I can wear them with ease, I will walk ever day its not raining and we are home, I will count my points and only eat what I should, and do sit ups every day. I can do that. I hope I can get to 150lb by my birthday. I will reassess at Klara's birthday.

I can do this. One step at a time.

3 & 3 for Klara!

Klara now has 3 new teeth!! Her bottom 2 has been there since about 7 months, and the top one has just come threw in the last few days. It was just under the skin all week last week and drove me crazy. But today I could see the gum was cut and could feel that new tooth!! Yay, baby girl!!

I've been trying to catch her pooping and put her on the potty for the last few weeks, but she stops when she gets on there. But she's seems to be figuring out what I want, as she has pooped 3xs on the potty in the last 4 days. She usually pees, and now when I catch her pooping, quick put her on, and she finishes in the pot!

She is all over the floor, and in my cupboards, and sits at the top of the stairs, and calls for whoever last went down. She knows what she wants, and gets frustrated when it doesn't work the way she wanted. She's growing and changing so fast!!



And just to finish off the post;

Goran put a new toilet in on the weekend. Whats more fun then a dual flush toilet?? The box!!

Mr Skeleton

"Its not Bryan, my name is Mr. Skeleton," Bryan told me earlier today.

My quest to not forget, so I'm jotting it down. I want to hang onto all these moments, cute, sweet, funny, things they say now, and remember them forever.

He has this great Halloween shirt, that glows in the dark. He loves it. Doesn't realize its just meant for Halloween, and wears it as soon as it is out of the laundry (he has tried getting it dirty out of the wash and wearing it...telling me it was really 'clean'). A few weeks ago we were at a friends house and her son (a year and 1/2 older then Bryan) has scary glow in the dark pirate skeleton costume. He was putting it on, Bryan watching thinking it was very fun. It came to the mask part (frightening for me) and when he put it on, Bryan covered his face with his hands and stepped back, frightened. "No," he said hesitating, almost whispering. "Take it off."

I was happy for a moment. Oh, my son doesn't like it, good, I thought to myself. Scary skeleton costumes are not something I will have to deal with for Halloween.

The older boy took it off, reveling himself, and letting Bryan see it was him. I reassured Bryan as well, telling him it was still Johny under there, it was just as mask.

Well that did it. Bryan's fear turned to excitement and laughter, and shortly my son was the one running around with a scary, glow in the dark skeleton mask on!!

And now, Mr Skeleton lives in my house, not my sweet little Bryan.