I'm finally feeling at home. I'm feeling settled. My home has shift from feeling like someone else's to feeling like mine.
They say the center of the home is the kitchen. It truly is for us. The kids do school work there, and we eat and laugh around the table. Tears have been shed there, and long hard talks around the table have happened there. I spend hours a day baking, cooking, mashing, chopping and mixing. I spend hours guiding small hands who so badly want to help, and then washing those small hands in a sink full of bubbles. I have spend hours washing dishes, cleaning counters, and washing those spattered floors. My baby learned to crawl and walk within my kitchen, and we all cheered her on. My kitchen is truly the heart of home.
I didn't want a house with work. How many times have I said or wrote that down? I was happy when we found this home, but devastated by the kitchen.
It was dark, outdated, very little work space, and very little amount of cupboard space. The hours I spend in this kitchen use to to feel like I imagine jail to feel like. I felt trapped, and depressed. I couldn't get the counters clean, the brick work was dusty and greasy, and there were spiders EVERYWHERE! I always had my back turned to the kids. I had to stop and put things down to help, turn around to talk to them, and never got to the fights in time because I couldn't see or hear what was going. It was the center of my home, and the center of my frustration.
Goran promised me before we put an offer in, "I will make it a kitchen you luv."
I hung on to that promise. All the hours I spent in that dark kitchen I hung onto what he said.
The one year mark of the day we moved in was approaching and we began talking about a new kitchen.
I drew a this dream. It was put up on the wall, moved around as we painted, and when the electrician came, but is still sticky tacked to me my wall :) I would lay in bed at night and think about it. I could picture it, the kids seated around the peninsula, me easily guiding cookie making, and the happiness. The smiles and co-operation.
We began preparing.
Seeking advice, and buying paint. It was slow. Several months. I had made a pack with myself to enjoy this process. When the kitchen was torn apart, and there was gray dust everywhere from removing the plastic brick and mortar, it was hard.
The hardest. But suddenly that part was done, and the rest seemed to much easier. I enjoyed the brighter walls. Even unfinished, it was better then the dark brick walls. After Christmas the cabinets got a few coats of paint. What a difference. They felt new!
The cabinets for the peninsula came and dreaming of the dishwasher began. We went and picked one out, and there were times I would feel delirious with happiness just knowing it was coming. Counters and painting, and adding the finishing touches.
It is complete now. Base boards are in place, and microwave is in.
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| the mirror in the back...I luv it! |
They sit with me now, and mix and pour and help. I like watching and talking. I like being so much more apart of what is going on with them. Hearing what they have to say, answering their questions, and guiding them in talking to each other. They talk SO much. Even when they are busy doing things. Maybe so more so....
I feel settled. At peace. I feel silly writing this.Thinking 'How does this make me feel at peace and settled?' I'm really not sure, other then it does. I'm not waiting for it to be done anymore, it is done.
I don't think the kitchen being done is what makes it feel like home. I think the fact that is is child friendly, and conducive to interaction between all of us is what makes it feel like home. It suites our family. We fit it, and it fits with us.
Goran did make me a kitchen that I luv.
