Friday, September 28, 2012

Where Did September Go?

I mean to blog every day. I tell myself I will. I will make the time. And then I am laying my weary body into bed and remember I forgot to blog. And then it gets to the point that I don't know where to start. So many things to say, and so little time. Do I go backwards from now till I last blogged, or start where I left off? And how in the world will I upload all those pics?

The details are what makes the story. The story of our lives. I will try. Try to remember details, events, and pieces so you can see it through my eyes, or their eyes, or better yet, like you are standing there with us. Close enough you could reach out and grab and camera and take a pic yourself.

Its autumn. How did that happen? Most mornings I go walking. I slip the halti over Dukes nose, and we leave the house just while the sun is rising. Somehow, without realizing it, I've gone from shorts to pants, and tanks to a zippered jacket. A few times this week I had to take my mitts!  Every morning I see how the leaves are changes from green to yellow, red, and brown. I use that time to myself to count my blessings, and work things out in my head. I wave to passing neighbors also walking pets, who have also gone from shorts to pants with a jacket.

With a month thats gone by, it leads to changes everywhere. Not just outside, but inside.

Without really realizing what was happening, we welcomed a new four legged family member into our home.

cautious yet curious about him. he follows duke, watches duke, and even mimics duke, but arches his back and hisses a mean song as soon as duke turns around. (trying to get a picture of the arch!)

He has stolen out hearts and brought many smiles to our faces. I struggle a bit with the guilt over how much I luv him, with it being such a short time since Bob left us. And with the colors being so similar, sometime I think I see a bit of Bob in him. Maybe I imagine it. Who knows.
He is sweet, and playful, and cuddly, and sometime a bit wild. When he first came home he was shy, and scared and stayed in one room. But quickly, within a week, he has the house figured out. He has special spots where he sleeps, places he runs for cover, and he knows who feeds him, and when its bedtime.


And ever Goran admits to liking him.

As the cool weather forces us inside, we find time to make things in the kitchen together. The hurry seems to be gone. In the summer it was always a hurry to get though meals so we could go outside. There seemed to be no time to teach little hands new things, or allow big girls to try new recipes they found. But suddenly there is time. The pride shows on their faces over new accomplishments. And funny enough, more gets eaten ;)


But before it got too cold, we had a few great outdoor adventures.

The fair was a hit!





And the ferris wheel. I admit to shaking, sweaty palms up there, but for them I pretended to have a wonderful time. Although wee Grace stayed with 2 feet on the ground.

She tried a few other rides though and after a few circles I could see her face relax and she began to enjoy.




Great Wolf Lodge and dinner out now has become a yearly tradition.


The wee ones tried new slides and had a blast.

And it would never be complete without a stop by the falls. Amazing really, the water thundering over, standing in the mist, seeing the rainbows, and breathing it all in. The wonder of this corner of the earth that has been here for millions of year? A wonder of the world that has seen people from all places of the world. All the wee ones, take a moment to look and see and wonder. The smaller ones not so long, and the bigger ones accompanied with many questions.




this little guy has  a funny story :) We chose to go 'behind the falls' this year. down under the tunnels Bryan exclaims "I saw a lizard." crowds pushed us on and i nodded in agreement, not really believing him. a few meters further, he exclaims again and i did have a moment to look and take a pic. indeed! he did see a lizard! those ytunnels being just the right place for a 'lizard' to hang out.


Its been a good month. A busy month. I tiny scare with Baby-Luv, but a quick stop at the midwives and listen with the doppler, was all that was needed to put my heart at easy. And as the month has gone on, Baby-Luvs kicks and swirls and turns have become strong enough for me to feel many of them. Its comforting. Moments I treasure and stack away in my heat. Whether I'm walking early in the morning, or laying in bed late a night, moments I stop and close my eyes and just feel. Feel the movement, the luv, the reassurance. And I think to myself every time, "Grow Baby, grow!"


As autumn steels summer away, we slip back into the school year routines.

The weeish one joins them reading and pointing and saying new words. She knows where her books are at the library and runs back and forth from the bookshelf stacking up her books to take home.



see them in the corner?

A field trip to a pioneer village! It rained that day, and I almost didn't go. But friends waiting urged us to put on raincoats and sweaters and rain boots. The rain pooled in puddles up and the down the soggy trails, drip drip dripping off the autumn leaves. The wee ones ran ahead from one house to another, seeing cool things, asking questions and learning.



trying on pioneer costumes!

Now I'm off to keep my wee ones busy, hopefully tired them out, and tuck a few in early tonight, as swimming yesterday seems to have made those few very tired.

Have a great weekend.

P.S. I promise to blog more in October. Cross my fingers!!

{this moment}

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.


Inspired by SouleMama

Friday, September 21, 2012

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.
. . . . . . . .


inspired by SouleMama

Friday, August 31, 2012

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama

 

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Camping

A quick post from the camping site! One last camping trip for the year. I can feel fall in the air, as the night was cool, and u can see the leaves beginning to change. It feels good. I'm ready for cool days, warm sweaters, and a good hot cup of tea.
Nana has joined us, making it one trip the kids will never forget. With pancakes for breakfast and campfire stories.
It's good. This feeling of peace, so little distraction, watching the wee ones. Really listening and interacting with them. The biggest reason of all I Lub getting away :)

Saturday, August 25, 2012

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama

 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

New and Old

I sat with 3 friends, and we listened, and shared and vented and supported. Like friends do. But I have to share more of this story. 2 friends were my peers. My age, with children my age, and involved with their families. One was our senor. By twice our age. At least.  Her sweet grandchild played among our children laughing and running and swimming. She didn't talk a whole lot. She listened and smiled and nodded.

At one point there was a pause and one of said peers asked my senor friend what she thought of our venting.

She laughed!

"It sounds so much the same as when I was young with a family at home. The struggles, and frustrations,the children, the husband, and the friends," she smiled at us. I imagine she was reminiscing to a time 40 years ago, an afternoon in a backyard yard just like we were today. Children playing and friends with iced teas sitting in a circle.

It got me thinking and then us talking how things don't change. Sure, technology changes, fads come and go, but the heart of life, the things that make us tic, the things that make us laugh,  and make us angry, and make us feel luved and hurt, they are the same. The are the same now, as they were 40 years ago, 400 years ago, and 4000 years ago. That is big! Gets one think'n.

About so many many things.

From my Friday memory, it was clear my Bob is gone.


It was strange. He was gone, and I thought it was OK. It had not been a surprise. And actually I was quit certain, when I got up that morning, it would be that day we say good-bye. But as the ritually of burying him, and talking with the wee ones kicked in, I must have I shut off how I felt. I kept saying "Its OK." And I thought it was. I thought I was feeling it all. I kept thinking how I missed him. Missed the bedtime cuddles, him purring to wake me in the morning, meowing for his supper, and laying on this growing belly.

It wasn't till Sunday night when the house was still and the family slept that the sadness washed over me. In waves. I flipped through the pics on my phone, and cried. Great big fat tears, that slid down the sides of my face, and when I rolled over, to the end of my nose and onto my pillow. I smothered it the best I could as Goran was sleeping, and I took shaky breaths to slow it all down. The feeling of sadness was there in the pit of my stomach, and I wanted nothing more then to lay my face in his soft side and hear him purr. And then, as I lay there in dark alone, longing to feel him against me right then, came the thought that always does, and everyone hates: I'll never feel his soft fur again. I will never hear him purr again. He will never meow for his supper again. He is gone. Forever.

Its not  OK. This sucks.

Some may think its just a cat and to get over it. Maybe some would get over it quicker. Maybe they wouldn't grieve at all. But Bob was with  me for 12 years. He was with me when I got married. He has laid on each of my pregnant belly's, and cuddled next to me while I nursed those tiny babies. He left my parents home with me and moved 5 more times. He was part of our family.

Klara still asks for "Bob Bob."  Sigh.

My heart will heal.

As we do some new things,





how'd he know that's how I spell it? a hot drink at chapers, and wee ones play'n!

and old things.

a good 5K with Duke


As big girls suddenly look so much bigger.

glasses which had her singing, "I can see, I can see!"

And wee girls say "Bluuuueeee cup!"



As I passed the 15 week mark and the 16 week mark comes closer, I feel this wee tiny babe kicking more and more. Sometimes I'm sitting still, and sometimes I stop in the middle of something to really see if that is what I think. Those flutters, tiny baby kicks. Every single time it makes me smile, and my heart turns to mush.

Baby Luv.

I have nick named this wee tiny one, Baby Luv. Before you roll your eyes, let me tell you why.

I have 4 wee ones, that are counting the weeks and days till they will meet this person. I have a hubby that rubs my belly and smiles when I tell him the baby is kicking. My heart is filled to the brim with joy and gratitude for this blessing. This wee tiny one, is coming into a home that is filled with so much  luv for him or her, he or she is our Baby Luv.

Tell me, are you still rolling your eyes?

For Baby Luv, who's the size of a navel orange this week.

we luv u Baby Luv!