Saturday, July 16, 2016

Baby Caleb - One Month One Day

I didn't rush this post. I wanted to feel it all, in the raw, and post when it felt right.

As the days turned into weeks, and weeks a month, I know the time is now, before I loose the thoughts and feelings as we step into the next stages of life with 6.

We had a day picked to induce, and I was determined to wait, I tried really hard too! He had tried to start labor several times, but I told myself not yet and I got busy. With play dates, and dessert dates with friends, keeping the house clean, and baking.

That last night, I was cranky, grumpy and super sore. My hips, my sciatica, my tummy, my skin, just everything hurt. Trying to bath/shower kids I cried out in pain a few times due to cramping and sciatica back/leg pain. I thought to myself, 'I'm so glad we are inducing on Sunday so this pain can be over. Just imagine if I went 10 days past that like the other boys,'

I went to bed, tired but glad and peaceful that there was a plan, and in just a few days I would meet my newest boy.

2:00am Wednesday morning (only 5 hours later!) I woke from a strange dream about water TO water. I lay there thinking 'could my water of broken? I must of peed strange...' I tried to convince myself I had just peed the bed, but I knew I hadn't.

It happened fast. Calling for help, the midwives, heading to the hospital, and getting settled. The contractions were getting more and more intense and this epidural was taking a long time.....

Finally we are all getting ready to do the epidural....I can hardly breath through contractions, they tried to talk to  me into pushing since it was clear to everyone I was ready, (except me!) but I insisted on the epidural. I felt so pushy, "PLEASE HURRY!" Finally it was in, but the contractions were on top of each other. The midwife says, 'Yep, he's right there.'

The same words I shouted during Sams birth 'Someone lift my leg!' 2 pushes. 2 pushes with all my power, the hurry and flurry of everyone in the room, and he was there. On my chest, purple, arms and hands out, reaching for me, and so so so tiny!!!

"Baby born at 4:59" the midwife was calling for help, since she hadn't had time to call anyone before.

I was happy to rest, hold him , and let everyone else there fuss. Fuss over his breathing, fuss over bleeding, clean up the mess, and deal with the paperwork. I just rested and watched and looked at him.

Finally they left the room and it was just us.

I'll never forget, the sun coming up over the mountain, streaming into that hospital birth room, making everything warm, and bright, and feel safe and good. Tucked up under warm flannel blankets, we snuggled together, me stroking his hands and hair and back, him nursing peacefully, and we both rested, drifting in and out of sleepiness. I studied his blond hair, and squinty eyes, and stork bites speckled across his brow.

Caleb Steptan joined us, fast and furious June 15, 2016. 8 days before my expected due date, and right on the midwifes expected due date. Perfect, and beautiful, weighing in at 8.7lb (my smallest baby).

We are adjusting to a family of 6. Everyone luvs their new brother, (even Sam, although not at first) takes turns holding him, changing him, rocking him, and helping me.

My heart is full and bursting with joy, hope and luv. Somehow, I'm not sure how, but Caleb makes the luv in my heart bigger, and I luv everyone even more then before.

I will post a picture everyday this week for the last month, but right now, I'm off to bed to snuggle that quickly growing baby!

1 comment:

Kristyn Hiemstra said...

Such a beautiful, tender retelling of sweet Caleb's arrival! So honoured to have spent some of that first day with you, welcoming Caleb into the family <3