Peaceful.
I 'tried' to just 'be' on Christmas Day. I didn't want to sit behind the camera taking billion of pics. But now I miss that I don't have all this memories in pictures.
This is what I have.
I missed pictures of Baka, family photo in front of the tree, of breakfast feast, and hugs and tears.
*sigh*
But some of the best memories are the ones treasured in the heart.
Memories of the girls happy smiles, at 6:30 in the morning, just me and them, hugs and "Merry Christmas". Treasures. And they told me how they were up at 2:01, and again at 4:00, and they knew Santa had come.
Bryan's saying his best gift was his electric toothbrush and DS were the best gifts. Treasures.
Snuggles by the fire, tea buy the fire, delivering Christmas cards to the neighbors in pj's that afternoon, lunch soup, and favorite gifts played with all day.
And I'm reminded that Christmas isn't one day. Its a season, and even today, the 29th, it feels very much alive.
I luv the peacefulness. Visits with friends, children playing, hugs and smiles. I luv the way the lightheartedness fills in the days with joy and contentment.
Now a mother of many (as I call myself) and having birthed most of these babies free of medication, the eve of Christmas my mind wondered over and over again to Mary. Certainly exhausted and tired of pregnancy, anxious as a first time mother, unsure of what to expect. I wonder if embarrassment and shame washed over her as she realized she would give birth to the son of God in a stable. Surrounded by animals, oxen, sheep, and goats to name a few. I wonder if she worried about hygiene as labor progressed. I wondered if she told herself over and over again, 'This can't happen here, not like this!' I'm sure Joseph was worried and fussed. I'm sure he paced, held her hand, smoothed her brow, and whispered over and over again that everything would be OK, despite the doubts in his heart he dare not utter. The pain of childbirth ripping through her, Mary knew it was going to happen, soon, fast, her baby was going to be born in a stable and there was nothing she could do to stop it. My mind wonders to her, feeling the exhaustion, and the feeling of being unable to go on.
And the sweet relief as Joseph says to her "Mary, Mary, open your eyes, look look at your baby!" (I wonder, did he shout, whisper, cry out to her?)and he placed that sweet baby on her chest. I imagine the relief, the elation, the joy, the luv washing over her in one giant swoop as she wraps her arms around his naked body, trying to warm him in the cold. Did her cry right away? Did they hold their breath, as I have done once or twice, before he breathed his first breath of air and his screams fill the cold chilly stable? I imagine the animals shifting, maybe complaining slightly, (I can here the oxen lowing, and the goats maa'ing) looking around confused and slightly upset.
Yes, now a mother, a parent, I think of Mary and Joseph, how exciting, and confusing it all was. I am thankful and humbled, and feel so very blessed that they lived the gift I was given.
So through it all, the reason of Christmas is one we talk about a lot. Sharing our feelings, playing with the playmobil set, and reading the story of Jesus' birth.
I am reminded that gifts built with luv, by the hands of luved ones, picked out with thought and care, no matter the cost, are the ones that mean the most. The ones that are treasured and kept forever. The memory of giving those gifts, and receiving those gifts, lived over and over again in both the receiver and giver.
As the season winds down, as we prepare for the new year with dreams of it all being different, (organized, timely, patient, whatever your resolution is) I'm thankful for the memories made, lessons learned, and the gift of today.
Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!
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